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Vicky Ludmer

We will dance again

Photo by Vicky Ludmer
Photo by Vicky Ludmer

A year ago, the worst attack on the Jewish people since the Holocaust took place. And for a year the comparison between both events has been inevitable. Similar in so many ways, different in so many others.

Similar, in that a group of evil and unimaginably cruel individuals, in a way which we resist to believe could exist among human beings, showed us once again that from time to time this cruelty prevails over the most basic sense of humanity. We were invaded, mutilated, raped, kidnapped, disempowered, diminished and so many other horrific things that we still are in shock.

Similar, in that this evil was contagious and ignited like fire in a dry forest, distorting the perception of good and evil of almost the entire civilized world that even today continues to confuse victim with victimizer, asking the victim to stop defending itself in favor of its aggressors.

Similar, in that those who were not taken by that contagious fire were invaded by a terrifying freeze. The silence, indifference and alleged justifications of the supposed good guys have put them on the wrong side of history. In events as aberrant as the ones we are experiencing, neutrality only feeds and emboldens the bullies. So, there are still over 100 hostages in Hamas’s terror dungeons and tens of thousands of Israelis displaced from their homes.

Different, in that today a State of Israel exists. And this existence makes all the difference.

The small State of Israel, like little David before he became King, is standing up doing its best to defend its inhabitants, as well as all Jews in the world.

It is that same existence that empowered the Jews of the world and encouraged us to raise our voices in every corner of the earth to make our reality visible, despite the virulent attacks that continue to take place in the streets, on university campuses, in theaters, in concerts, in governments, in international organizations.

We always say that one of the characteristics of our tradition is the registry and remembrance of each event in order to learn from it and prevent it from happening again. Only those records, tributes and commemorations usually take place sometime after the event itself. It is the later generations that take care of it.

Today, the speed of time causes a disconcerting simultaneity that invites us to ask questions, tributes and reminders in real and present time. As the battle continues on several fronts, survivors are there on the front lines raising their own voices.

We are now in the days between Rosh ha Shana and Yom Kippur. The so-called Terrible Days, the Yamim Noraim, in which we are summoned to reflection, to recollection, to the balance of the soul. The so-called time of forgiveness, although this year we may have to be a little more careful with strong and tight definitions.

A recurring question in this period of our calendar is whether everything and everyone is forgivable on Yom Kippur. From the Holocaust to this date this has been a common question. There are many texts, essays, conferences, opinions on this subject.

It is very trendy nowadays to talk about forgiveness as a tool for personal healing and wellbeing. Countless authors postulate that forgiveness is actually an internal process in which the other is almost not even necessary.

And there is a point at which this is true. When we do not forgive, we are the ones who continue to carry the backpack of pain and suffering.

Although it is also fair to say that for forgiveness to be genuine and healing it must be born out of conviction and consciousness. As Osho says, forgiveness and charity are useless when they are an instrument focused on obtaining a personal interest in return.

Our tradition says that the process of asking for and granting forgiveness that takes place on Yom Kippur is one linked to transgressions between humans and G-d, and that G-d only has the power to forgive them.

Ever since Noah´s flood, G-d does not meddle in the affairs of humans with one another. Among us, the process of forgiveness has some conditions:

1.- There must be repentance or acknowledgment from the one who asks for forgiveness.

2.- Forgiveness can only be granted by the one who suffered the wrongdoing.

Personally, I dare to add one more and that is respect for personal internal time. Forcing forgiveness because it seems to be politically correct, even on these particular dates, is not only not real, but in my opinion, it is more harmful than sustaining anger and pain. It is invalidating one’s own feeling.

King Solomon said in Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) that everything has a time under the sun.

One of the quintessential examples of the theory of forgiveness is Nelson Mandela. His expressions about leaving hatred behind to be truly free are famous.

However, it should be recalled that the peace process that he proposed once elected President of South Africa through the creation of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission could only take place when the apartheid system installed in that country was abolished.

The same thing happened in my country Argentina with the CONADEP, the Commission created to collect testimonies of the horror suffered by the victims of the last military dictatorship could only be formed after the democratic government was restored.

And this was also the case with the survivors of every persecution and massacre that has occurred in our history. Slavery, exiles, Inquisitions, Pogroms, Holocaust. Most of the survivors were able to move on with their lives leaving behind the horrors they experienced, and to achieve this there had to be some internal process of forgiveness or at least liberation and letting go.

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks says in one of his commentaries on forgiveness and the Holocaust that it is possible to not forgive, but it is possible to reconcile and start over.

I imagine, I wish, I hope that the same thing would eventually happens to us. At the appropriate time. In the meantime, I invite us to be kind and compassionate. And to hold the fight in one hand and the tributes in the other.

We will dance again. Volveremos a Bailar.

Am Yisrael Chai ve Kaiam. The People of Israel Live and Will Always Be.

About the Author
Vicky Ludmer is a lawyer, life coach, NLP practitioner and Jewish educator. She lives in Buenos Aires, Argentina. She is a member of Fundacion Pardes, a local masorti congregation and external advisor to Hanoar HaTzioni.
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