What the Lithuanian ambassador should have said

I have no idea why this happened. Maybe it’s because the geniuses in Vilnius now realise they have boxed themselves into the most impossible situation because of their egregiously stupid and aggressive Holocaust lies policy. Or maybe they cancelled because they really just couldn’t care less.

But this is what Mr Junevicius should have said:

Dear Jews,

Where the fu*k do I start? How do I even begin to explain this fu*king car crash of a nightmare that my stupid government has got us all into? We’ve been warning them about this for ages but they’re about as smart as a tree trunk. So please, bear with me… let me at least try to explain…

Look, we know we have been lying to you and everyone else for decades but seriously, what would you have done? How could anyone with this horror and disgrace in their national memory hope to move forward to create a positive national identity? And anyway, everyone wanted to move on, not just us. You couldn’t face the horror, and neither could we. And with the fu*king Russians and commies always sniffing around the edges, what choice did we have but to try – try! – wrest our national narrative from the horrors of the murderers and the reality of what happened?

So we made this Genocide Centre with legitimate intentions – seriously, which nation does not do its best to create a positive national narrative. But unfortunately we staffed it with schlemazels of the first order. Seriously, the dumbest of the dumb.

I mean seriously, look at the fu*king Noreika story! A petty thief (he stole nightclothes from murdered Jews, ffs!), incriminated in every possible way – I mean, author of Lithuania’s own, little Mein Kampf HELLO!!!! – and what do the blockheads at the Genocide Centre do? They double down and make him a hero!

Now to be fair we nearly got away with it. Gochin was a big pain in the arse, as was Katz and Zuroff, right… but frankly nobody was really that worried because everyone’s getting sick of the Holocaust and is desperate to move on. And as long as we have a posse of tame Yids we can wheel out from time to time for the cameras, yours and ours, then at least we can keep the Holocaust Lie Bus on the road… and wait for history to eclipse memory.

But then, f*cking disaster! That’s right. Silvia Foti.

From the moment that Silvia appeared the smart ones among us (there are one or two) knew the game was up. I mean who in their right minds couldn’t see that this beautiful, elegant woman, this epitome of painful and suffering truth-telling, was going to win the day?

And then J’Accuse! hits us like a bombshell, and before we can say ‘poor, missing Jews’ the tame Litvak Yiddles we’ve been patting on the head for years are suddenly getting it and passionately reclaiming their history. And demanding that the truth be told at last.

All this while Ukraine is burning on the altar of perverted historical truths and the Russians, again, are baring their f*cking teeth.

You know what? I’ve fu*king had enough. I’ve had enough of the fu*king lies and the bullshit. The time has come. Fu*k my government and their paid idiot liars. It is time we came clean. Time we all had an honest conversation.

Because we are f*cking innocent!

Bring it on, please! Time to talk!

That’s what he should have said.