What We Hunger For

You walk into a home and a smile crosses your face. It could be your parents’ or grandparents’ home, and you find yourself engulfed by the familiar sights and smells that awaken your senses and evoke childhood memories. You are smiling because you feel surrounded by a sense of comfort, warmth and love. You eagerly sit down to enjoy what was lovingly prepared for you.

In many cultures throughout the ages, there is a simple equation we can all relate to: FOOD = LOVE. How did that connection come about?

Back in 400 B.C., Hippocrates was the first to advise people that eating nutrient-dense foods could be beneficial in preventing and treating various diseases. Throughout the centuries, to improve health, create well-being and treat illness, diverse cultures have employed natural ingredients — from spices like turmeric, to resins like frankincense to herbs like coriander, to name a few.

What is more welcoming than walking through the door to the scent of fresh-baked cookies, bread, or a simmering pot of chicken soup with matzoh balls or noodles? Especially when you are sick, chicken soup can literally make you feel better, as it is known to ease symptoms. Its benefits have even been validated by the medical community.

Cooking brings families together – cooking with one’s mother, father, grandmother, or other beloved family members creates memories. Recipes are often tied to stories: How did that recipe originate? Did it travel overseas in a satchel or a suitcase? Simple or complex as they may be, recipes are the fabric of family history and keep our loved ones alive in our day-to-day sensibilities.

Passing down recipes from generation to generation is a tradition in many families from diverse cultures. Beyond providing delicious delicacies, they evoke respect for those who came before us, those who were dedicated to taking care of us. We will often praise a particular recipe by declaring, “This is the best ____ you will ever eat!,” giving credit to the cook or baker. Yet more often, it is the total experience with a beloved family member that forms a lasting impression, not just “the dish.”

When YOU prepare that special family recipe, in its original form or with your own variations, you, in turn, have the opportunity to “pay it forward.” You keep that family member’s life and love alive and, at the same time, provide a meaningful experience for your family and friends.

The emotional aspect of food is huge! When you feel the love that was put into preparing the food, it can actually make the food taste better to you. Positive associations with food are felt in the brain and can trigger dopamine release, which improves mood, memory and focus. Associations with particular foods can create emotional satisfaction and  a sense of calm and even help us feel less lonely.

It may seem obvious why food is important — with reasons ranging from daily survival to making family occasions from holidays to weddings extra special. We are happy when food is abundant and available. And we are challenged and stressed when it is not.

We also know that there are many among us and around the world who do not have access to enough food. That has been a reality for as long as I can remember. Years ago, when the nation of Biafra declared independence from Nigeria, the Nigerian government used starvation as a “legitimate” weapon of war. Famine resulted and was believed to cause the deaths of between one and three million people, most from starvation and disease.

A group of poverty-stricken children in Biafra (Nigeria), July 25, 1968. (Photo by Partington/Daily Express/Hulton Archive/Getty Images). Image supplied by Hadassah.

In our country, billboards, posters and TV commercials displayed images of starving Biafra children, which broke our hearts. Mothers would say, “Don’t be a fussy eater; there are children starving in Biafra.”

In the US, the number of people going hungry has grown. In 2023, that number rose to 47 million– one in five children, a staggering number. So why don’t we, in our daily life, hear and see more about this life-threatening situation within our borders? Part of the reason is that it doesn’t seem to be much of an issue when candidates are running for public office. Who is sounding the alarm?

Part of the challenge is that the language we use to describe this unconscionable situation has changed. The word “starvation” evoked disturbing, visceral images; we experienced anxiety and concern when we heard “people are starving.” Over time, “starvation” was replaced with “hunger” – a feeling we all experience but are able to deal with because we can always grab a snack or have a meal.

More recently, “hunger” morphed into “food insecurity.” What is that exactly? Insecurity means a lack of confidence. So now we think of people who are starving as people who don’t have confidence about where their next meal is coming from. That doesn’t evoke much emotion if any, does it?

George Carlin, a comedic master of the English language, performed routines about the powerful impact of language. He spoke of his dislike for “soft language,” which he described as “…euphemistic expressions that conceal reality and take the life out of life….” Carlin’s claim was that Americans have trouble facing the truth so they invent a kind of soft language to protect themselves from it.

Carlin’s most well-known example of how we lose sensitivity when we soften language is his routine about war. During World War I, the combat condition a soldier experienced was called “shell shock,” something you could easily visualize and even feel. During World War II, the phrase turned into “battle fatigue.” Softer.

Then, during the Korean conflict, the condition was called “Operational Exhaustion.” That sounds like a bad case of being tired; we all get tired. During the Vietnam era, it was called “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,” a medical term. Subsequently,  it became “PTSD,” which has virtually no emotional impact at all.

Carlin’s premise was that we change these terms, not for the recognition of those who are suffering, but rather so the rest of society can feel better, less anxious or disturbed by the conditions or problems others have to deal with every day.

This continuation of replacing terms to soften them has desensitized us to a point where the conditions they represent are no longer something we need to be concerned about.

Some say that the reason various cultures are known to be overly generous with food portions and the variety of food they serve is a response to previous food scarcity. Being able to demonstrate that scarcity is no longer an issue transmits a sense of comfort, wealth, abundance and even good hospitality.

Most cultures look forward to the practice of “breaking bread” together with friends and family. It transmits a sense of friendship, love, well-being and trust. Each time I make my turkey meatballs or matzoh balls for the Jewish holidays, in my mind, I can still hear my mom asking me how many I was making. When I would say “300” or “500”, she would always tell me I needed to make MORE because she wanted to take home a few dozen for her and my Dad.

Since she has passed, I have a little sad smile, thinking how no one else on the planet cares to ask “how many” meatballs or matzoh balls I am making. But Mom and Dad did. Then I wonder how my parents could afford to put out lavish spreads for everyone — including everyone’s favorites dishes for every holiday. Somehow they managed.

But then I do remember the “budget stretching” that helped to save a dollar. That included serving some of my least favorites: liver and onions, split pea soup, beef stew, meatloaf and sauteed chicken livers. School lunches featured Velvetta, sardine or tuna sandwiches and peanut butter or cream cheese and jelly sandwiches. YUCK.

It occurs to me that a worthwhile project would be for kids, parents and grandparents in any combination to gather to create a family recipe collection. It could include recipes from friends, school, the internet and even favorite restaurant dishes.

Some groups are creating online archives of recipes to preserve their culinary history. I remember in my service organization Hadassah, we collected all sorts of recipes, put them in a cookbook and sold them as a fundraiser. The joy of the project was as meaningful as the profits.

You don’t have to be a gifted cook to enjoy the benefits of home cooking. But preparing a traditional or new dish together with family helps us stay connected with who we are, where we came from and, by continuing the tradition, where we want to be going.

Image courtesy of the author.

In these challenging times, it is more important than ever that we hold on to our humanity and not lose our connection to others. When we focus only on ourselves or only on what affects us directly and avoid external influences because of how they make us feel, we lose our empathy. And when we lose empathy for others’ needs and challenges, it changes how we treat one another and view the world.

I believe we need to focus on our commonalities rather than our differences. Food provides a great way for people from different cultures to interact positively with one another. Sharing life experiences can bring us all closer. In doing so, you may very well find that your values are more universal than you thought.

Such realizations are well worth our time and attention and can change how we react to what is happening all around us and throughout the world which, more than ever, needs our best efforts.

—

Debby is a member of the Hadassah Writers’ Circle, a dynamic and diverse writing group for leaders and members to express their thoughts and feelings about all the things Hadassah does to make the world a better place. It’s where they celebrate their personal Hadassah journeys and share their Jewish values, family traditions and interpretations of Jewish texts. Since 2019, the Hadassah Writers’ Circle has published nearly 500 columns in The Times of Israel Blogs and other Jewish media outlets. Interested? Please contact hwc@hadassah.org.