When even writing a blog is too much of an effort!

I have been trying not to let the coronavirus get to me. That is obeying all the rules,distancing and wearing a mask.

I have tried to keep mentally and physically fit by long distance healing mantra sessions, dancing to a music tape, joining controversial Zoom conferences on a range of subjects and giving an opinion on anything on which I believe may do some good for someone, somewhere.

It is almost surreal. What I need most of all is for someone to come through the door in other words just turn up.

This won’t happen,  it is not allowed to happen.I am luckier than many.I can meet up with family downstairs in the lovely gardens of the Beit Frankfurt Community Centre and occasionally on the roof of my children’s house.

I can now go to activities at the MATNASS as it is known, so life is not all that bad.

It’s inside my home that images of others who lived here once seem to float around and compound the emptiness.My mobile is my best friend, except when answering in a hurry. I am on view and haven’t combed my hair or applied any make up!

Every home that I have ever lived in, in Israel  had either a sea view or was minutes from the beach. This time living on the outskirts of Tel Aviv I do not have that view or that inimitable breeze which brings the sea almost into your home.I just long for the beach.

It’s all the little thing that seem to be important. I cannot bear to see a speck of dust or a dirty dish.Its nonsense truly.

Images of what is happening in Syria and not only, shake one out of any self pity .  Relations with our nearest neighbours relatively peaceful at the moment, will soon show cracks if we carry out the dream of Bibi and Trump the terrible twins, annexation in the West Bank.

At times like this its not what one has, but what one longs for.

Its not even about money. As a pensioner I cannot grumble  with what I get from Bituach Leumi,  in contrast to what I am getting from the UK.I can make ends meet and unlike all of my precious family I am not losing a salary or even what was a successful enterprise.

So as my wise and pragmatic mother would have said “Don’t look at others just get on with it and be thankful for what you have.”

Corona or not we will survive and as I write there are hot shot,start ups in the making,creative artists still jamming together and even perhaps families becoming closer,ironically?

Strangely I have not heard from many cousins in the UK only some recognise that I may have needs.However those who do care, including my  granddaughter who as a  critical care paramedic in England is working almost 24/7 are in contact. Its not about who has fewer or more Corona cases its actually a unifying process which is allowing for those of us not exactly in the front line to step back and look at what is actually of prime importance in life.

My impulse is to write to all of those who have distanced themselves for no good reason and say “HI” but I will not.

On the plus side people who worked closely with my son Anthony who died tragically in 2003 have also come into my life!Most of us have time to let thoughts run wild, since to only  think of gloom and doom is no way forward. We will go forward with a leap that’s for sure. My personal interest which is accident prevention and safety on our roads will still be with me. As I tootle around the neighbourhood on my buggy and pray that cars from the right side will see me despite the selfish few who seem to deliberately park on the red and white.

Keep safe all you who enter here…….may God Bless our country.

So there’s not much to even discuss during brief meetings or to even attempt to fathom how we came to this absurd political situation which has destroyed so many peoples faith in our political system or its ethics.

Its as if everyone and yet noone represents you.

Years ago we tried to change the electoral System to one of regional  proportional representation.One where people you voted for represented you.Now we have a government bursting at the seems where maybe only those who are animal welfare rights proponents, will have something refreshing to add to the debate.