When Kinot actually work

My wife was away for just over a week. Since her work involves a good deal of travel, it was nothing new. But this was for a family wedding during a grossly different world climate. We usually bring a child for trips like these but we decided it wasn’t the best idea this time around. 

How lucky we were that she went alone.

The plan was for the trip to be just under a week, landing back on Erev Tisha B’av. But as the departure date approached it was clear that plans were going to change. Since the assassination of Ismail Haniyeh, the head of Hamas’ political wing, and Hassan Nasrallah, the second in command of Hezbollah, Iran’s major retaliation loomed over the region. Due to the escalation, airline after airline began canceling flights to and from Israel. 

At the last minute, the outbound trip was moved up from a Tuesday to a Sunday departure. As we said our curbside goodbyes at Ben Gurion, I knew my wife’s return leg was more than just up in the air. Thankfully, she made it to California with nothing more than an extended layover. But, as expected, the return flight was canceled upon landing.

A new plan was devised through another airline with a stopover in New York. As that leg of the journey began, the third airline also canceled service to Israel. I could see the writing on the wall – it was now or never. I insisted that she book a direct flight with El Al and leave as soon as possible. As is well known here in Israel, barring actual rockets in the air, El Al always gets you home. 

However, that was the question: would there be rockets in the air?

My wife booked and was on an El Al flight within 3 hours. As soon as she took off, my phone began exploding with messages of Israel being at defcon 5. Since the threats from Iran began, Tisha B’Av was marked as a day that the attack might occur. “Had I just sent my wife into a rocket attack?” I thought. “Were they going to be diverted and have to land in Turkey, God forbid?” Once again, everything was up in the air just as the fast began.

Being racked with nerves, I wasn’t sure I would be able to sleep. I was praying for Iran to hold off just long enough for her to land. It had been a long week. I needed our family back together. I needed to know we were safe and a whole unit once again. But I also realize how crazy an idea that was, “Please God let my wife make it home so she can be in the direct line of Iran’s attack.” Something inside me felt like we could handle whatever would be thrown our way if we were together.

In the end, my alarm woke me at 5:30 AM so we could head to the airport for pickup. But just as I opened my eyes, a message appeared on my phone, “Landed” – it was more than an hour early. El Al had B-lined it home in 9 hours. I was so thankful. The night had been quiet and the plane made it with a group of people much like my wife, desperate to come home to the Land and people they love. 

After the pickup, I made my way to the somber prayers of Tisha B’Av morning, not yet in the correct mindset. I was too happy to mourn the destruction of either the first or second Temple. Not that there was anything new about having trouble connecting to the traditional lamentations. How does anyone really feel a 2,000-year-old loss? 

The synagogue I attended did a “best hits” of the 50 lamentations. I was happy not to be spending the entire day breaking my teeth on the archaic Hebrew. But just as we finished, one of the attendees began a Kinah that wasn’t on the list. 

At first I was annoyed because I wanted to get home to my family after the long separation. But then I heard the words: “The land was filled with hatred (Hamas)” one of the first lines said. That’s when I realized this was something new, written in response to Oct 7. “Our Father, Our King, avenge our brothers. Return the abducted. Plant the uprooted with eternal love, raise up the wounded, lift up the oppressed.” 

All of the meaning of the day came crashing down upon me. There are so many, both recently and historically, whose family members never came home. So many who lost everything in the Jewish tragedies we’ve faced throughout the years. How blessed am I to have only endured a week of such longing. 

May Hashem give comfort to all those who’ve lost and are awaiting the return of their loved ones. May we all be made whole once again and may Tisha B’av finally become the day of rejoicing we so deserve.