When Moses retains a Startup PR consultant just before leaving Egypt….

Passover begins this evening as we celebrate Moses taking the Israelites out of Egypt.

As they move closer to the Promised Land, they hit the Red Sea.

Moses calls for his VP Engineering. “Build me a bridge.”

The VP Engineering: “Sorry Moses. No bridge. We’re in the desert. No wood. No steel.”

Moses calls for his VP Sales. “Go back. Work a deal with the Egyptians.”

The VP sales beetles off and returns an hour later: “Sorry, boss. No deal. They want us dead.”

In desperation, Moses calls for his VP Public Relations. “Yankele, what do we do?”

Yankele, VP Public Relations, “Moses, see that rock. Stand on it. Lift your arms. Ask God to open the Red Sea. He will. Take your Israelites through the gap. When you get to the other side you’ll notice another rock. Stand on it. Wait for the Egyptians, their chariots and their war machinery to fill the gap. Raise your hands. Ask God to close the gap. ‘Make the Red Sea waters to flow.’ He will. Your enemies will be destroyed and you can pass on safely to The Promised Land.”

Moses, skeptically: “This stuff gonna work?”

Yankele, “I don’t know. But if it does, I’ll get you three pages in the Old Testament.”