When Sirens Sound: Helping Children Cope with Fear
In days when sirens interrupt daily life and we repeatedly run to the safe room, our children’s worlds are also shaken. For them, the sound of the siren and the urgency around them can evoke fear, confusion, and insecurity. At such times, they need us more than ever to help them understand what is happening and to feel protected.
It is important to understand that fear in such situations is a natural response of the body and brain to danger. When the brain detects a threat, it activates the body’s emergency system and releases hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, which prepare us to act quickly. In children, this system is particularly sensitive, and therefore they need the adults around them to help them calm down and return to a sense of safety.
The Importance of Routine and Its Effect on the Brain
During periods of uncertainty, routine is a central tool for biologically calming the body and the brain. Our brains seek predictable patterns. When there is a regular daily structure—set times for waking up, meals, play, and learning—the brain receives the message that the world is still stable.
Biologically speaking, routine reduces the activity of the brain’s emergency system (the amygdala) and allows areas responsible for thinking and emotional regulation to function more effectively. In addition, a regular daily structure helps the brain release calming hormones such as serotonin and oxytocin, which reduce stress and strengthen feelings of safety and connection.
During these chaotic times it is so important to maintain daily activities as much as possible: waking up at a regular time, eating together, playing, reading a bedtime story, and preserving small daily rituals. For children, these simple things serve as anchors that calm the neurological system and restore a sense of stability.
I know that during these turbulent days it is not always easy to maintain routine. Children are not going to school or kindergarten, some of us are not going to work or are working from home, and the usual structure of the day has been disrupted. The challenge is to create a new routine that fits the current reality.
We can begin by asking ourselves which parts of our daily routine can still be maintained—waking times, shared meals, time for play, or reading before bedtime—and restore them as much as possible. Afterwards, we can sit with our children and think together about which new routines we would like to create during these days. Often, children themselves come up with wonderful and creative ideas. Our role as parents is to weave together the old and the new and create a new daily rhythm that provides stability and security even during this unusual time.
It is important for us as parents to know how to distinguish between normal reactions of children in an abnormal situation and signs that may indicate that a child needs professional help. Recognizing the difference between a natural reaction and ongoing distress allows us as parents to provide the child with the appropriate support at the right time.
Preschool Children (Ages 2.5–5)
Young children do not understand the concept of war. They mainly experience fear from the noise and the urgency of running to the safe room. For them, a world that was predictable and safe suddenly becomes uncertain.
Signs of distress:
- Increased crying
- Clinging to parents
- Fear of being alone
- Nightmares
- Regression to earlier behaviors such as bedwetting or thumb-sucking
How to help:
Children at this age primarily need a sense of safety. It is important to speak in a calm voice and explain simply that the siren is meant to protect us and that we are safe in the safe room. You can allow the child to bring a favorite doll or toy into the safe room. A familiar object helps the brain calm down because it connects the child to feelings of familiarity and security.
Elementary School Children (Ages 6–12)
Children at this age understand more about what is happening and therefore may worry more. They may think about family members, their home, or possible dangers.
Signs of distress:
- Many questions about the war
- Difficulty concentrating
- Stomach aches or headaches
- Irritability or emotional outbursts
How to help:
It is important to allow the child to ask questions and to answer honestly, but in an age-appropriate way. It is advisable to limit exposure to news and difficult images. You can teach children simple calming techniques such as deep breathing or slow counting.
Giving children a small role during the siren—such as bringing a flashlight or water—also strengthens their sense of control and helps calm the nervous system.
When to Seek Professional Help
If a child is unable to calm down over time, suffers from anxiety attacks, severe nightmares, or shows a significant decline in daily functioning, it is important to seek professional guidance. Early support can help the child regain balance and prevent ongoing distress.
Ultimately, the most calming factor for a child is the presence of a calm and confident adult. When we project stability, maintain routines, and listen to their fears, we help their brains understand that even within a complex and frightening reality—they are protected and not alone. Perhaps our newest challenge is to create some lovely and cherished moments with our children, during these painful and chaotic times.
