When the Battle Comes Home: the Urgent Call to Rehumanize Connection

The most dangerous battlefield isn’t always one with bullets. Sometimes, it’s the silent war inside.

This week, a Knesset Research and Information Center report stunned the nation with a heartbreaking figure: 279 IDF soldiers have attempted suicide since the beginning of 2024.

That’s not just a statistic. It’s 279 mothers and fathers gasping for air. 279 families shattered by questions that may never be answered. 279 warriors who faced the enemy outside, but lost to the enemy within.

Even more sobering? Combat soldiers made up 78% of suicide cases — a dramatic spike from previous years, when the rate hovered around 45%.

What’s going on?

The surge is linked directly to the traumatic aftermath of October 7, 2023, and the massive mobilization of reservists. Many returned home physically — but emotionally? They’re still in the fight.

We’ve long praised our soldiers for their strength. But what if our definition of strength is part of the problem?

When “strong” means suppressing emotion, not asking for help, and disconnecting from pain — we’re teaching our heroes to bury the very wounds that need healing.

One Key to Change: Emotional Literacy

Most of us never learned how to speak the language of emotion. Not in school. Not in training. Not even around our own dinner tables.

And yet, as the late PAIRS founder Lori Heyman Gordon often said, “Relationships don’t die from lack of love. They die from lack of skill.”

Skills like knowing how to say what you feel without shame. Listening without fixing. Confiding before emotions turn toxic.

At the PAIRS Foundation, we’ve spent decades teaching these tools — from military chaplains and combat veterans to couples on the brink of divorce. One of the most powerful? The Emotional Jug — a simple, proven technique to release anger, sadness, fear, guilt, and joy before they explode.

Because when pain is trapped inside, it doesn’t disappear. It festers. It lashes out. Or it turns inward.

Hope Begins With Training

PAIRS Foundation offers online training in these essential relationship and emotional communication skills, with the next national series of classes beginning November 17th.

Scholarships are available for active duty military and veterans, ensuring cost is never a barrier to healing.

Learn more and register at: www.pairs4me.com/upcoming

In Memory and Resolve

To every soldier who ever felt that ending their life was the only way out — your pain matters. Your life matters. And it’s never too late to come home to yourself.

Let’s not wait for another report.

Let’s act — as families, communities, and a nation — to teach what was never taught.

Because love is not just a feeling — it’s a skill. Connection is not a miracle — it’s a practice. And these are skills we can learn, teach, and pass on.