“Where the Ruined House Once Stood”: Tisha b’Av While Israel’s at War

“I am secular and my entire life until now, Tisha B’av meant nothing to me. Yom Hashoah was the day where I was focused on Jewish history, and it was terribly important. But Tisha b’Av? Until this year, the thought of questioning the future of an independent Jewish state seemed completely irrelevant. Now, the question of Israel’s existence is something I am very much engaged with.”

“I am religious and until now, much of my thinking around the Jewish holidays was on the spiritual level. Passover was a discussion around developing my spiritual growth, my independence of thought and identity. This year, however, my celebration of the Jewish holidays has been radically different. I am focused on physical captivity, on physical freedom. We have gone back to a much more literal understanding of all the texts. This Tisha b’Av, we are mourning destruction and captivity in the most literal sense.”

1. A Punch in the Gut

These quotes (above) were some of the feelings shared last week at a chapter meeting of Rivon Harevii (“The Fourth Quarter”), the Israeli grassroots movements focused (in my words) on taking the poison out of Israel’s public discourse.

Tisha b’Av, the day of national mourning for the first and second Bet Mikdash (Temple), feels close to home this year. Literally, I can feel it hurting in my heart and bones.

New Kinot (“lamentations”) have been written about the events of October 7^th. They are written more or less in the style of the traditional Kinot for Tisha B’Av. See the English versions of these two Kinot by Rav Yosef Zvi Rimon and Yagel Haroush.

Even how we reference the events has parallels. In Hebrew, October 7th frequently is referred to as “the 7th of the 10th.” Tisha B’av literally means “the 9th of the 8th” (Av being the eighth month of the Hebrew calendar).

Raw from the losses of October 7^th and over 10 months of war, the ancient story feels painful and poignant.

2. Reversing Baseless Hatred

Nor is it lost on me or anyone else that we, too, have experienced Sin’at Chinam (“Baseless Hatred”) internally, among our own people. Because traditionally, it is stated that Baseless Hatred is what caused the destruction of the Second Temple (see Talmud Bavli, Tractate Yoma, Daf 9 Amud 2).

The Tikkun (healing) then – by definition – involves a focus on unity.

And so last Thursday at sundown, I stood together with friends, neighbors, and many people I had never met before, at Tsomet Ezyona, an intersection near our home. We participated in a Unity Protest inspired by rabbi and artist Hagay Lober, whose son, reserve Staff Sergeant Elisha Yehonatan Lober, of blessed memory, was killed fighting in Azza. In Yehonatan’s memory, Hagay founded L’Maanam [Hebrew-language link] – “For Them – We Won’t Return to October 6^th” – and he has been organizing Unity Protests at 100 intersections around the country.

A Unity Protest inspired by rabbi and artist Hagay Lober, whose son, reserve Staff Sergeant Elisha Yehonatan Lober, of blessed memory, was killed fighting in Azza. In Yehonatan’s memory, Hagay founded an organization in Yehonatan’s memory called L’Maanam (“For Them”)

3. Listening for “the Whisper” – A Chance for True Dialogue

“My secular friends won’t attend the Rivon Harevii meetings because the organization is too far to the right,” a fellow member of my chapter confides.

“The philosophy of the Rivon Harevii might be too left wing for me,” a friend tells me.

No judgement here. Of course, it is true; these feelings are valid. The type of careful but honest dialogue that is necessary for healing the polarization plaguing Israeli society may be very far from  our personal comfort zones – I believe that is accurate for most of us.

Perhaps the fact that it is so hard proves how much it is necessary.

As Yehuda Amichai concludes in his powerful, oft-quoted poem:

“The place where we are right

is hard and trampled

like a yard.

But doubts and loves

dig up the world

like a mole, a plow.

And a whisper will be heard in the place

where the ruined

house once stood.”

This post was written with prayers for the safety of the Chayalim, the return of the hostages, the healing of the wounded, and the return of all of those evacuated back to their homes. Note that the opinions shared here are my own and have not been reviewed or approved by the leadership of the Rivon.