What follows is an un-nuanced story. That has two reasons. I don’t want to let sharp conclusions disappear in a cloud of nuances. And if you don’t like it, think of how gays feel about the lack of nuances when they are judged.
I was just at a symposium where they asked a forum of Orthodox rabbis why the Orthodox world makes such an issue of homosexuals. One after the other lied that it was the severity of ‘the prohibition.’ I just left. I can’t stomach so much nicely worded hatred. I will give you the real reasons.
1. Why is there such an uptick in antisemitism? As soon as the answer points at what Jews do, you know that that is a lie. The reason lies in the hearts of Gentiles. Likewise, pointing here at what homosexuals do is simply offensive. The prime reason for obsessing over homosexuals is that there is something thoroughly wrong with how heterosexuals think. It’s called homophobia but it’s not just fear. Heterosexuals are statistically much less capable of empathy. They sleep soundly while young gays kill themselves. Empathy can be learned but it may take a while before straights catch up.
2. Homosexuals on average are nice people. Too nice if you ask me. Heterosexuals splitting hairs on what they believe about homosexuality is on the back of gays feeling too unsure to rise up and shout them down. No one in the West would dare to discuss what’s wrong with non-whites but homosexuals are still fair game for so many ‘decent’ people.
3. Assimilation has made many Orthodox Jews confuse modest with prudish. Christianity has a love-hate relationship [puns not intended] with sexuality. Judaism originally didn’t. When sex becomes a taboo, it’s hard to think about it straight [another pun not intended].
4. There are two historical reasons. When gays came to the limelight en masse fifty years ago, including gay Jews, the rabbis could only conclude that that was caused by loose morals (‘Make love, not war’) penetrating [again not intended] from secular society because heterosexual Jews over decennia never gravitated to homosexuality. They did not know gays.
When the world finally found out that some people can (only) ‘become one flesh’ with someone of their own sex, it was hard for mediocre rabbis to backtrack. (Rabbis Kook and Feinstein did acknowledge Jews for whom homosexuality was natural but those remarks are suppressed.) Now it’s so bad that rabbis who admit to the obvious truth that the prohibition on homosexuality must be and can only be for straights, are accused of not being Orthodox. So they lie that the 50-year-old change in Jewish Law leaves them no choice instead of admitting that it was a costly mistake.
5. The other historic complication was AIDS. Jews just came out of the Holocaust, Israel was in constant danger, having children was a matter of survival (still), so how could they handle that some of the kids were gay (needed a partner with whom they could not procreate) and on top of that [no pun intended] were dying like flies. ‘Cures for homosexuality’ were wished up and invented — all a fraud.
6. In Israel there is an additional reason. They State had to be built and genocidal enemies had to be fought, in the shadow of the Holocaust. Those who came from the camps could either help or go to a mental institution. Ever since, the Israeli norm is that everyone must be normal. That is crazy [pun intended] but don’t blame the victim (the Jews).
Judaism was always a religion and lifestyle of reality and truth. Which is that there is nothing wrong, psychologically or religiously or morally with gay men and women looking for a same-sex partner, marrying them, and raising kids with them. They actually are better parents, as I wrote before.