We got a call from our son’s teacher last night that she heard some reports, we needed to evacuate, and we should come to her house. So within 10 minutes we left with our kids and our dog.
How does one process the fear? It’s incomprehensible.
My rational mind won’t allow me to understand that such cruelty can exist here in this world. That such dangers exist.
And I can’t accept it.
As my kids slept, I stayed up most of the night in the courtyard crying to G-d. Surrounded by pink roses, looking up at the dark sky, I felt my mortality and a sense of infinite connection.
I begged for a sign that He could hear me, and then there was a gentle rumble of thunder. Thank you, I said.
Danny read the words of tehillim and the bedtime Shema, which eased some of the fear that had taken over my body. It felt like it had been written just for me, just for that moment.
And now it is day. I’m back here at my computer, using my rational mind to try to share something beyond reason.
But I’m at a loss.
So I just want to say how deeply sorry I am to everyone suffering. It feels unbearable. But there’s nowhere to hide the pain. We must feel and carry it, together.
Thank you to our friends and family asking how we are doing and praying for Israel. If you want to know more about what’s going on here, please reach out to me.
The prayer Jewish people say each morning:
I give thanks before you, King living and eternal, for You have returned within me my soul with compassion; abundant is Your faithfulness!
מודה אני לפניך מלך חי וקיים שהחזרת בי נשמתי בחמלה. רבה אמונתך
Modeh ani lefanekha melekh ḥai vekayam sheheḥezarta bi nishmati b’ḥemlah, rabah emunatekha.