Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 1+
Watching the World Cup opening ceremonies, the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) had another fever dream, to wit: Imagine a world where the Israeli national team got results from Norway; imagine a world where the Blue and the White pipped Italy 5-4 in stoppage time, rather than the other way around; imagine a world where Israel qualified for this World Cup. The opening ceremonies featured the presentation of the flag of every participant nation. It would have been such a headache for so much of the world if they had to tolerate having the Israeli flag marched into the Azteca along with the rest of the world. It would have been so sweet. Oh well.
Instead, the reality is that yesterday the Irish announced that they would play their upcoming European Nations League home match against Israel at a neutral location. There is an element of Irish society that hates Israel so much that they are willing to have their national team forfeit their home field advantage so that the team of the Jewish state does not set foot on Irish soil. The hatred is real and is unmovable.
The World Cup opened with the Mexicans downing South Africa, 2-nil. The Bafana Bafana were humiliated and had two players sent off with red cards. Going forward, the South Africans, now missing two starters, can expect future debacles and an early exit from the World Cup. Good luck playing out of the back, lads. For their part, El Tri were not overly impressive. While they may be good enough–playing in front of home crowds–to advance to the knockout rounds, they can expect tough matches from the Czechs and especially the South Koreans. The Mexicans also managed to pick a red card, as well. It seemed undeserved, but, hasta la vista César Montes all the same.
ZGWC faves Czechia got off to a roaring start by drawing first blood in the 59th minute against the well-organized South Koreans. The South Koreans, though, proved to be unflappable as they equalized a mere eight minutes later. They got the game winner in the 80th minute, and the Czechs were unable to answer. The Czechs, who had a suspect attack to begin with, were further hamstrung when offensive dynamos Patrik Schick and Pavel Sulc were taken off in the 64th minute. Going forward, both squads can look forward to tough matches against Mexico, and both will be looking to run up the score against the hapless South Africans.
Earlier today, Canada and Bosnia and Herzegovina fought to a 1-1 draw. The Bosnians scored early in the 21st minute, but then had to confront a pack of desperate Canadians for the balance of the match. After a couple miracle saves by the Bosnian defenders, the Canadian finally notched a deserved goal in the 78th minute. The ZGWC tried to root wholeheartedly for the Bosnians, but visions of the Mufti recruiting these player’s forebears to the SS could not be entirely squelched. Conversely, memories of cheering for past Canadian teams in 2022 surfaced. In the end, the ZGWC was satisfied with the draw. Group B is a Group of Death (lite), so we will take what we can get.
The ZGWC exits for Shabbos with a loss for South Africa (good), a loss for Czechia (bad), and a draw between two ultimately unsatisfying competitors (eh). As such, we are 1-1-1. Not a terrible start for the ZGWC.
All thoughts now turn to this evening’s USA vs. Paraguay match.
Lastly, the ZGWC appreciates all of the kind comments posted in response to earlier posts. Please keep reading, and ZGWC will keep preening. Hasta la vista and a guten Shabbos.