Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 19
“Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair.”
This quote is most commonly associated with Percy Bysshe Shelley, but it just as easily could have been attributed to the likes of Franz Beckenbauer, Gerd Müller, Torsten Frings, and their ilk. Like Ozymandias of old, the formidable German footballing machine stands trunkless, staring out at the empty desert of Foxboro, Massachusetts, wondering how it all went so wrong. At least Ozymandias did not have to deal with the vagaries of VAR.
The Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) has tried its level best to be sympathetic to the Germans in recognition of their post-October 7th conduct and their honorable and forthright chancellor, Friedrich Merz. But the ZGWC is more inclined to celebrate the good fortune of the Paraguayans then dwell on the woes of the Mannschaft. How about La Albiroja, one of the few countries to receive a full thumbs up from the ZGWC. After getting gutted, 4-1, by the US, they downed Turkey while playing a man down for the entire second half. With their penalty kick triumph over the Germans, the Paraguayans chalked up their greatest victory in their country’s soccer history. (This is only a guess, as the ZGWC is not an expert in Paraguayan soccer history.)
Yesterday began with Japan going up first on Brazil. The Brazilians, though, were not to be denied. They out possessed the Blue Samurai and eventually found the game winner. More importantly, the Lula-da-Silva-Showing-Up-At-A-Critical-Match-Sporting-His-Keffiyeh Clock moved to four minutes to midnight.
The day’s last match featured Morocco and the Netherlands, the sixth and seventh ranked teams in the world. They played to a 1-1 draw and suffered through a painful round of penalty kicks. Morocco choked less in this exercise and will move on to the Round of 16. If Algeria and Egypt lose their first knockout matches, look for the Palestinian flags to start flying at Morocco’s remaining matches.
Today’s matches have already been previewed in yesterday’s episode and will not be repeated here. The ZGWC did, though, want to put in a good word for Erling Haaland amidst all of the negativity it has flung at the giant man’s team and country. Haaland spoke with former hostage Omer Shem Tov and has been supportive of his plight. For this, Haaland has been pilloried by the anti-Semites, near and far. Accordingly, even as the ZGWC will be rooting against Norway in their match with the Ivory Coast, it will be hoping Haaland has a good game.
