Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup—Day 22
Yesterday’s action in the World Cup featured two matches pitting the nations of the Iberian Peninsula (sorry Andorra and Gibraltar, but you don’t count) against two component parts of the former Austro-Hungarian Empire. The latter entity had a habit of being on the losing side of major international conflicts, and yesterday proved no different on the football pitch.
The day started with Spain easily defeating a solid Austrian squad, 3-0. The Austrians fought hard and displayed technical skill, but they were simply no match for the deeper and more talented Spaniards. The Spanish victory pained the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) for a couple reasons. First, the government that the team implicitly represents has been hypercritical of Israel for many years, even worse since October 7th. Their easy victory over the Austrians could be a harbinger of a serious title run. Second, the Spanish team has a generational talent in the form of 18-year-old Lamine Yamal, and that talent was on ample display yesterday. When his club team, Barcelona, won the La Liga championship back in May, Yamal took the opportunity to wave a Palestinian flag as part of the team celebration parade. A World Cup in which Yamal plays a crucial role will only solidify his international reputation and visibility and thereby improve the standing of any cause he chooses to endorse. From the ZGWC’s perspective, the sooner Spain is eliminated from the tournament, the better.
The day’s second match featured a premature clash between powerhouse squads from Portugal and Croatia. Similar to the Brazil-Japan match and Morocco-Netherlands match, this Round of 32 was too early in the tournament for sides of the caliber of Portugal and Croatia. Still, it is a tournament, and if one is destined to win, it should make no difference when tough competition presents itself. In other words: “you’re going to have to beat somebody sometime.” Both sides showed their quality, but Portugal scored the game winner in stoppage time, and Croatia’s tying goal a few minutes later was ruled offside. The ZGWC did not favor either side, but was cheering for the weaker side on paper–-Croatia–to prevail. The defeat likely marks the end of a remarkable run for the Croatian team. Names like Modric, Perisic, and Kovacic will live on in the memories of soccer fans for a long time, especially those fans who have an affection for national teams where pretty much every player’s surname ends with the same syllable.
Spain and Portugal will face each other in the Round of 16 in battle for dominance of the Iberian Peninsula. Stay tuned for pungent analysis of this clash in an upcoming episode.
The ZGWC did salvage one favorable result on the day, as Switzerland defeated Algeria, 2-nil. The Swiss largely dominated play, and the result proved this out. The Algerians had benefited from the presence of the weak Jordanian squad in their group to help their advancement to the knockout round, but they gave a good account of themselves to earn four points. Nevertheless, Algeria remains an implacable foe of the State of Israel, so good riddance.
Today’s matches were briefly touched on yesterday, so the ZGWC will be even more concise in this episode. Australia is favored over Egypt as being the lesser of two evils. Colombia is strongly favored over a relatively pareve Ghana. Lastly, the ZGWC likes both Argentina and Cape Verde. In addition to its other virtues, the latter team even features a forward, Gilson Benchimol of probable Jewish heritage. Nevertheless, the ZGWC will be forced to hope that Argentina prevails, as the Albiceleste present one of the best chances for an Israel-friendly country to lift the trophy.
Lastly, ZGWC thanks its loyal readership and is touched by all of the messages of support. Shabbat Shalom.
