Benji Lovitt
Because the Middle East is Funny
Featured Post

Arafat and Sharon respond to congressman’s letter

Arafat and Sharon respond to Congressman Joe Pitts' letter

Just yesterday, this site reported that United States Congressman Joe Pitts has suggested in a letter that two Middle East leaders do more to bring about peace. In a Times of Israel exclusive, here’s their official response.

May 16, 2012

To the admirable Congressman Pitts:

 

Shalom/salaam from Jerusalem/Al-Quds.

 

It came to our attention yesterday that in a letter to a constituent, you indicted our lack of effort as the reason for the failure of the Arab-Israeli peace process, stating, “With the global war against terrorism, it is now incumbent on Prime Minister Ariel Sharon and Palestinian Authority (PA) Chairman Yasir Arafat to clamp down on Palestinian extremists that have perpetuated violence and to restart a peace process that has collapsed.”

 

First, let us state that we are truly encouraged to hear about your renewed interest in the peace process. Please rest assured that from my vegetative state, I, Ariel Sharon, am in constant contact with Chairman Arafat, who is currently residing in a coffin. We are making considerable progress on substantive issues but it is difficult to shake hands since I am in a coma and he is dead.

 

Please tell your president, Ronald Reagan, and your vice president, Jesus, that we are both optimistic about the near future.

 

With the high level of awareness and up-to-date information that American politicians receive on Middle East developments, it is not surprising that the United States has achieved such great success in peacemaking in our region. The two of us look forward to presiding over a peace treaty shortly after you are elected to the Oval Office.

 

Respectfully yours,

Prime Minister Ariel Sharon and Chairman Yasser Arafat

Co-written by Tal Azoulay and Benji Lovitt.

About the Author
Since making aliyah in 2006, Benji Lovitt has performed stand-up comedy and educational programs for groups including Jewish Federations, synagogues, Masa Israel Journey, and Birthright Israel. His perspectives on aliyah and Israeli society have been featured on Israeli TV and radio and in publications such as USA Today, Time Magazine, the BBC, and more. During 2014's Operation Protective Edge, his humorous observations on the war led to his being called in Israel "the only reason to go on Facebook.”
Related Topics
Related Posts
Comments