Hanukkah Barbie
“Moshe, I just ordered my granddaughter the Holiday Sweater Jewish Barbie doll from Amazon. Twenty-eight bucks. Amazon guaranteed it would arrive at my house before Hanukkah.
“It will be worth every penny when I see her face as she rips off the Hanukkah wrapping paper, opens the box, and starts playing with her own Jewish Barbie. I know her eyes will light up—just like the little menorah on Barbie’s sweater.”
“Boychik,” Moshe said, “I’m curious. Please tell me what this Barbie doll looks like.”
“Well, she looks like a beautiful Jewess, with a shayna punim, a tiny tuchus, and a gorgeous Jewish nose.”
Moshe raised an eyebrow.
“And, as you are well aware, that’s the epitome of every Jewish girl’s and woman’s dream.”
Moshe burst out laughing.
“She’s wearing a blue sweater with a hanukkiah on it. And you’ve got to give Mattel credit: They actually put the right number of branches on the candelabra. No eight-armed monstrosity. Somebody at Mattel did their homework.
“The sweater is covered with Magen Davids, baby-blue dreidels, and tiny white snowflakes.
“They’re going to sell a million of those dolls. Then the executives at Mattel will sit around a conference table and say, ‘Why the hell didn’t we make this doll years ago?’”
Mordechai paused.
“Mattel deserves a pat on the back for finally giving Jewish girls a doll they can call their own. Ruth Handler, Barbie’s Jewish creator, must be spinning in her grave wondering why she didn’t do this herself.”
Moshe looked at him.
“Mordechai, didn’t you write a blog in the Times of Israel criticizing Mattel for not creating a Jewish Barbie?”
“Yup.”
“And what did you say?”
“I said Mattel was missing an opportunity.”
“And now they made one.”
“Yup.”
Moshe smiled.
“I hope that blog helped convince them.”
“Congratulations,” Moshe said. “You won.”
Mordechai smiled proudly.
“Well, it only took seventy-six years to get Mattel to see the light.”
Moshe laughed.
“But there’s a valuable life lesson here—one you should teach your granddaughter.”
“What’s that?”
Mordechai leaned closer.
“If you kvetch long enough—and you have a righteous cause—eventually, even the biggest naysayers will give in.”
Moshe nodded.
“Ah, yes. The secret weapon of the Jewish people.”
“Exactly.”
“Kvetching?”
“No.”
“Persistence?”
“Exactly.”
“Same thing.”
And Mordechai smiled.
“Now you understand.”
