Today concludes the Jewish Federations of North America’s General Assembly 2012.  As always, it was a fantastic event showcasing the best that the Jewish community has to offer.

To get the most out of the GA, you’ll need to know your buzzwords.  In case you missed it, here are the top 12 double entendres overheard in Baltimore in 2012.

12. After interacting with my lay leader, I am confident that I could get behind that.

11. How could you not be impressed by the size of his generous endowment?

10. Given the people watching, his ability to present exceeded all expectations.

9. Only with maximum impact can I fully take advantage of his assets.

8. I’ll be in the media room checking out his briefs.

7. At the schmooze event, I was able to connect with multiple willing partners for collaboration.

6. Check out that guy’s junk under the table.

Stop staring at my junk.

5. Not only was the plenary much longer than expected, it left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

4. In the last session, we learned how to penetrate the community through the back door.

3. I wish he’d demonstrated more leadership when switching positions.

2. She invited me into her big tent with promises of engagement.

1. Next year, it’ll be hotter in Israel.

See you at GA 2013!

Co-written by James Oppenheim and other Jewish professionals who requested anonymity while laughing their butts off