A New Direction

I’ll be pivoting a bit in my blog toward a more personal encounter with Judaism and the repercussions of the war, a departure from writing for my newspaper in a highly structured way. Now, to write about how worried I am about the fragility of the peace deal – not necessarily because it may not hold up, but because I worry about what it took to arrive at that peace deal. I treasure the hostages’ homecoming, but I worry about Israelis who in the future may be attacked by the 2000 released prisoners who will likely return to their mission of inflicting pain and suffering on Jews.

My friend in Jerusalem corrected me when I shared my fear about the released criminals with him – they are terrorists, not merely criminals. Yes, they are. Terrorists that attack indiscriminately out of indoctrinated hatred. Single-minded terrorists. Getting to the basis of my fear, I endeavored to try to understand how such hatred against the Jews happens in a homeland of designated safety, knowing that the terrorists want the foundation that Jews have, the unequivocal foundation and sense of purpose – the purity. No matter how observant or not observant someone is, no matter how much they know or don’t know, their purity is in who they are. It can’t be changed. There’s purity in total assurance of who one is, and in knowing the connection one has with god because of who one is. It’s innate and doesn’t have to be fought for. But others fight to take it away.

I can only think of replacing the hatred with purity. Purity isn’t inexperience, but it’s centering – it is. Purity is simple existence as who one is, living embraced by god, and becoming who one can be by going forth on the initiative of god. 

Genesis Chapter 35 says:

Purifying yourself includes changing your clothes, i.e. integrate who you are into your personality: Be who you are, not influenced by who anyone else is.

That one thing infuriates those who can’t inflict their beliefs onto Jews, so they inflict physical pain.

Yesterday I watched a report on Tal Hartuv and her friend, Kristine Luken, who in 2010 were attacked by two Palestinian terrorists while hiking in the Mata Forest, near Beit Shemesh, in the hills outside Jerusalem. The terrorists were disguised as Israeli police (terrifying in itself). Tal acted as though she was dead to survive; and now she knows the terrorist who attacked her has been freed in the current deal. She told the Jewish Chronicle earlier that she knew everything must be done to bring the innocent hostages home. “I’ll be the first one jumping for joy when the hostages are released,” she had said. “Politically, this might be the only deal we can make right now.” And it was.

She had added about the crime inflicted upon her and her friend, “There will never be justice. Even if the terrorist stays in prison, it doesn’t bring back my mental health or my murdered friend.” 

What also touched me was how Hartuv described her presence in Israel, “Ever since I made Aliyah, it’s felt like falling in love. But if the cost of peace means releasing terrorists, it’s like unrequited love.” 

That’s how I feel about my intention to make Aliyah – even watching videos of Jerusalem and knowing that my people, also British Jews, had origins in Jerusalem no matter how long ago, fills me with a longing for completion.

Meanwhile, I’m still learning about sukkot – and I’ve felt my ancestors with me.