A Prayer/Elegy/Piyut, One Year Later

This poem emerged from our nightmare week following October 7th 2023. I look back on it and would change nothing one year hence. I hope and pray that as we set our sights on the months ahead we can find a way to transform all of our elegies to songs of joy.

A Fire Once Again Burns in My Heart (אש שוב תוקד בקרבי)

One of the most moving and sorrowful kinnot (elegies) we sing on the night of Tisha Bav is a nine-hundred-year-old poem written by (according to some scholars) Rabbi Yehudah Halevi. It contrasts the joy, spirit, excitement and reverie of Israel when they left Egypt, with the grief, sadness, horror and woe when they were forced to leave Jerusalem:

Here is an excerpt:

“Then Moshe sang, with everyone chanting, when I left Egypt/But Jeremiah cried, a bitter lamenting, when I left Jerusalem”
“Festivals and Sabbaths, wonders and signs, when I left Egypt/Fasting and mourning, and pursuing emptiness, when I left Jerusalem.”

I can’t help thinking of the disparity between Israel (and Jews worldwide) today versus one week ago. My heart aches in pain and burns with fire and I lament:

Last Friday night, we gathered rejoicing, dancing with the Torah.

Tonight, we are spread out, and prohibited from entering large spaces together.

Last Friday night we smiled, celebrated, called out to God in masses

Tonight, we are bereft, sitting in shiva homes, crying over our losses.

Last Friday night the country felt proud, (too) confident, enlivened

Tonight, we are on alert, uneasy, clutching our guns, awaiting sirens.

Last Friday night we thought we were invincible, impenetrable, awoken

Tonight, we are shocked, confused, humbled, broken.

Last Friday night and Shabbat we danced to Hallel and samcheinu

Tonight and tomorrow, we are told to recite Avinu Malkenu!

BUT

Two thousand years ago on that night we were exiled, stricken from the land
Today we rally around our nation, lick our wounds and fight hand in hand.
Leaving Jerusalem we were persecuted, forced to wander, helpless
Today we are strong, determined, resolute and selfless.

Leaving Jerusalem we lost our spirit, tested our faith, reclusive
Today we fight with our guns and our Tanachs, praying in collective.
Throughout our exile we were separated, weakened, divided
Today we are AM YISRAEL, resilient, staying put, united.

The poet on Tisha Bav concludes with a dream:

“The voice of joy and gladness, and mourning and sorrow shall end,
when I return to Jerusalem.”

We have returned, we are home, we are strong, battered and bruised but resilient and filled with spirit. We will defeat our enemies, rebuild our cities, return to joy and gladness, while serving God as one nation, one people, one family.