Adraba – Practical Jewish magic for the 9 days

Three fast days. 9 days of morning. We are entering the saddest period of the Jewish calendar, remembering the fire, destruction, banishment, death, exile …. Of an event that happened almost 2000 years ago in the year 70 CE. Kind of ironic when our more recent news feels hauntingly similar and hurts, physically, so much more. I used to think three fast days and so much heaviness were a bit much for building collective memory. This year, during the 17 of Tammuz fast, I realised this is an opportunity to recognise the steps on the way to self-destruction. Jerusalem wasn’t destroyed in a day.

Our tradition teaches that senseless hate amongst our own people, not the strength or justness of our enemies, brought and will bring our downfall.

We all know this.

And yet we are so hurt and enraged that we fight and hate, and say inexcusable things to each other.

Full disclosure: I am not Hassidic but found an incredibly powerful, incredibly hard, spiritual practice that was the prayer-before-prayer of R. Elimelech of Lizhensk (1717-1787). Adaraba. As if he couldn’t even stand before Gd if he didn’t have a clean heart for his fellow man.

Adaraba  –

(Aramaic word meaning the opposite is true, on the contrary)

Instill in our hearts the ability to see the positive attributes of our friends and not their shortcomings; let every person speak to his friends in a manner that is honourable and desired by You. Let us not, God forbid, bear hatred toward one another. Strengthen us in our love towards You, as is apparent and known before You.  Let everything be pleasing before You. 

I decided to take a long, hard look at my society and look for the good and worthy. I know anything I say about any group is a gross generalisation or stereotype. I know that each group has many subgroups.  What I want to do is this: what honest and true things, positive things, do I see in my fellow people? People that I don’t agree with and sometimes am hurt by, but that ultimately, I share a fate with. Here goes:

The Israeli left wing – I thank you for reminding us of the word Peace, the dream of Peace. Peace, which is one of Gds names, Peace, which is the ultimate goal. That all humans are created in the image of G-d.

The Secular Israeli sector – You keep the wheels going, innovating so that Israel is a modern, forward-going place. You step up when it comes to volunteering, donating, and serving. You remind me of the importance of beauty, art and music.

The Arab Israelis – So many doctors, nurses, technicians, and computer programmers who are children of those who didn’t get an education. So many parents are working hard to educate the next generation and move forward. I am so impressed by the work ethic of the teenagers and young people who are all around working for their futures. I am proud of how you have taken all that Israel is and made it work for you.

The Israeli Right wing – You remind us of our deep roots in this land. That we belong to this place and do not need to be apologetic or vague about it. You are also willing to put your beliefs into actions even if it is dangerous and difficult. You step up to your values yourself and don’t expect others to do it for you.

The national religious: You step up for almost every cause; you don’t shy away or exempt yourself.  Your numbers are visible in any volunteering activity, in universities, industry, and in the army. You love to travel this land and are seen with your families on the trails and springs. You are connected to your Jewish roots, your identity, and Torah.

The Ultra-Orthodox – I appreciate how you raise your children to be a needed part of the family unit, responsible, and feeling connected. I’m amazed by how you would choose to leave the ease and accessibility of smartphones for your values and choice to do other things with your time. You choose more modest housing, jobs, etc. and prioritise what is really important to you.

Chabad – I love that you brought to the world the concept of shlichut – that everyone has a job to do in this world. I love that you know that in the world above, as in the one below, we are responsible for each other.

This was not easy, so much unsaid about each group. For me, it was honest. We spend so much time and energy getting angry and annoyed.

Adraba – let’s give the opposite a chance.