The Blogs: An Arrest Warrant for Zohran Mamdani (Satire)

AFFIDAVIT IN SUPPORT OF THE ISSUANCE OF A WARRANT FOR THE ARREST OF ZOHRAN MAMDANI

I, Mark P Cohen, declare:

I am a writer, lawyer, Jew, Zionist, and Golden State Warriors fan, born in Brooklyn (which gives me jurisdiction) and currently residing in Jerusalem (which gives me authority). I have come into possession of the following information that justifies the arrest of Zohran Mamdani, the current mayor of New York City, for being a hateful, antizionist, antisemitic schmuck whose words and actions endanger the lives of Jews and non-Jews:

The Boycott Divestment and Sanctions Movement (BDS), is inherently antizionist and antisemitic and encourages violence against Jews. Mamdani has supported BDS since at least 2014. In his own coded words, “My support for BDS is consistent with the core of my politics, which is nonviolence. And I think that it is a legitimate movement when you are seeking to find compliance with international law.”
In 2013, while a student at Bowdoin College, Mamdani co-founded Students for Justice in Palestine, a virulently antizionist organization that has condoned the October 7 Hamas terrorist attacks. According to the executive summary of the Jerusalem Center for Public Affairs study, SJP’s “founders, financial patrons and ideological supporters have been linked to Islamist and Palestinian terror organizations such as Hamas, Hizbullah, Palestinian Islamic Jihad, and the Marxist Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP).”
In 2016, referring to his Israeli high school teacher, Mamdani made the antisemitic, antizionist statement that he “tailed brown guys for a long time. He’s good at it” because he was a “graduate of the IDF.” Mamdani’s antisemitic and antizionist beliefs did not change over time. In 2023, Mamdani made the antisemitic and antizionist assertion that “we have to make clear that when the boot of the NYPD is on your neck it’s been laced by the IDF” (referring to the Israel Defense Force).
In 2017, Mamdani expressed and affirmed his antizionist hate and affinity for Hamas supporters in a rap song he wrote in which he praised the Holyland Five. The Holyland five—Shukri Abu Baker, Mohammad El-Mezain, Ghassan Elashi, Mufid Abdulqader and Abdulrahman Odeh—the heads of the now-defunct Texas-based Holy Land Foundation for Relief and Development—were all convicted in 2008 by a federal jury of funding Hamas.
The day after the October 7 Hamas terrorist attacks, Mamdani issued a statement that failed to name Hamas as the perpetrators of terror. Instead, he stated that he mourns “the hundreds of people killed across Israel and Palestine in the last 36 hours.” Rather than condemning terrorism and Islamic extremism, Mamdani attacked Israel and its prime minister and used the libelous trope of “apartheid,” saying, “Netanyahu’s declaration of war, the Israeli government’s decision to cut electricity to Gaza, and Knesset members calling for another Nakba will undoubtedly lead to more violence and suffering in the days and weeks to come. The path to a just and lasting peace can only begin by ending the occupation and dismantling apartheid.”
Referring to Israel’s actions, Mamdani has repeatedly used the antizionist blood libel of “genocide.”
Mamdani refused to condemn the use of the genocidal slogan, “globalize the Intifada,” and has refused to acknowledge that it’s a call to take “organized, deliberate violence of the Palestinian intifadas and replicate it against Jews everywhere.” Instead, Mamdani has hidden behind a manufactured ambiguity, which “can produce a climate that facilitates antisemitism—even in the absence of explicit hate speech.”
In 2025, Mamdani declined to sign onto a state Assembly resolution recognizing Israel on the 77th anniversary of its founding. Four months earlier, he refused to sign a separate resolution condemning the Holocaust;
On November 19, 2025, in front of the Park East Synagogue in Manhattan, where an event about moving to Israel was being held, protesters chanted “Death to the IDF,” “We don’t want no Zionists here,” and “From New York to Gaza, globalize the intifada.” Instead of condemning the protesters’ threatening behavior and genocidal language, Mamdani, then mayor-elect, issued a statement through a spokesperson criticizing the synagogue for hosting an event about moving to Israel: “[Mamdani] believes every New Yorker should be free to enter a house of worship without intimidation, and that these sacred spaces should not be used to promote activities in violation of international law.”
Mamdani has refused to acknowledge Israel’s right to exist as a Jewish state, a homeland for the Jews. When a reporter for the Forward recently pressed him with the fact that Israel is a Jewish state and “that’s in the charter, that’s the way it is now,” Mamdani stated he supports “the state of Israel as a state with equal rights.” But according to the Forward article, Mamdani added, “I believe that any state that privileges one religion over the other is one that I can’t tell you I support, whether it be Israel or Saudi Arabia or anywhere else.”
On his first day in office, Mamdani revoked New York City’s adoption of the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance (IHRA) Working Definition of Antisemitism. In doing so, Mamdani reversed an order that defined antizionism and antisemitism as hate.
Referring to the American Public Affairs Israel Committee (AIPAC), Mamdani recently invoked a classic antisemitic canard when he said, “They move millions in dark money to accomplish a single goal, to preserve their power so that they can turn us against one another” and singling out AIPAC said “the monsters that we are up against, they take many different forms.”
Fomenting hate against Israel and endangering Jews, Mamdani had pledged to arrest Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu for war crimes even though doing so would be illegal. Although he ultimately admitted he has no authority to do so, in all his threats of arrest and criticisms of Israel’s response to terrorism, Mamdani failed to mention Hamas or its October 7 massacre of innocent civilians. “Instead, he delivered a sweeping moral indictment of Israel while erasing the terrorist atrocities that ignited this war.”

Antizionism is the hatred of Israel. More particularly, under the Movement Against Antizionism’s definition:

“Antizionism is an ideology that treats the existence of Israel as an inherent crime. It emerged from three key sources: the Nazi-Islamist axis of the 1930’s-1940’s, postwar Soviet-Arab-nationalist propaganda (1956-1989), and Western academic settler-colonial theory (1990’s-present). Synthesizing these lineages, antizionism advances three core libels—colonizer, apartheid, and genocide—circulated not as contestable claims but as axioms that preempt debate. This ideology works to justify the elimination of Israel, normalize campaigns of isolation and terror, and extend repression beyond Israel itself by marking Jews worldwide as ‘Zionists,’ a category used to justify exclusion, intimidation, purges, and violence.”

Antisemitism, as defined by the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance (IHRA) is:

“Antisemitism is a certain perception of Jews, which may be expressed as hatred toward Jews. Rhetorical and physical manifestations of antisemitism are directed toward Jewish or non-Jewish individuals and/or their property, toward Jewish community institutions and religious facilities.”

Under the IHRA, manifestations of antisemitism include:

“the targeting of the state of Israel, conceived as a Jewish collectivity. However, criticism of Israel similar to that leveled against any other country cannot be regarded as antisemitic.”;
“Denying the Jewish people their right to self-determination, e.g., by claiming that the existence of a State of Israel is a racist endeavor.”
“Calling for, aiding, or justifying the killing or harming of Jews in the name of a radical ideology or an extremist view of religion.”

Since at least 2013, Mamdani’s statements and actions have established his antizionist and antisemitic character and, through his words and actions, have enabled and empowered antisemites and antizionists. As mayor of New York City, Mamdani’s hateful words and acts represent a clear and present danger to Jews and non-Jews in New York City and beyond. As such, by this declaration, I pray for the issuance of a warrant for the arrest of Zohan Mamdani for being a Jew hater, antizionist, and antisemitic schmuck.

I declare, under the laws of human decency (and the state of Freedonia), that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed on this 2^nd day of August 2026, in Jerusalem, Israel.

Mark P Cohen

WARRANT FOR THE ARREST OF ZOHRAN MAMDANI

Proof by declaration having been made this 2^nd day of August, 2026, to me by Mark P Cohen,

I find that there is probable cause to believe that the offenses of Jew hatred, antizionism, and antisemitism have been committed by Zohan Mamdani and therefore command any officer of the law and anyone with a sense of decency to arrest this schmuck, Zohran Mamdani and bring him to Israel (or a kosher restaurant in Boro Park) where he be required to answer for his Jew hatred, antizionist, antisemitic behavior (and eat kosher food).

The Red Heifer