Balancing innocence and awareness with children

Life in Kibbutz Gezer

I live in Kibbutz Gezer, which is located near Modiyin and Ramle. A kibbutz is a community originally founded on agricultural principles. There are still some members here who work in the kibbutz, but most of the “kibbutznikim” work outside. It’s privatized now, but there are still many elements of communal activities such as a community garden, lots of holidays that are celebrated together, and many get-togethers organized by people within our kibbutz. Despite its proximity to urban centers, the kibbutz maintains a rural charm. One of the biggest advantages here is that the area where the homes are located does not allow cars, so children have a lot of freedom to explore without the danger of traffic. Considering its location, it’s still quite rural, even though there is a shopping center just 10 minutes away by car and a train station also 10 minutes away.

A chance encounter

We ended up here by chance. I started working at the local high school in Beit Hashmonai, and through sheer luck, a teacher named Aviv (who also lives in Gezer) mentioned that there might be houses opening up soon and suggested that I get in touch with someone. As a New Yorker who grew up in the suburbs, living in an apartment with a young child was not my cup of tea. I never imagined myself living in an apartment again, but as we lived in Israel longer, I almost came to the realization that that was going to be our future. However, to our surprise, a house suddenly became available for rent. After convincing my wife, who was initially against the idea, we moved into our home where we still live today.

Surviving the Pandemic

Surviving Corona was difficult enough with children; one was three and a half and one was born during an outbreak, but we managed. There was some sort of logic in this virus. We were able to explain to our three-year-old at the time what was going on and that the precautions made sense given the situation. There was nothing to be done because we were in the middle of a huge outbreak. Teaching during that time was also challenging because we were given the almost impossible task of transitioning from frontal teaching to completely online within a few days and had to learn while teaching, which is a very difficult task for anyone.

War: A new reality

In America, growing up, war was always something that was seen from afar. Until 9/11 happened, everything I had understood about war had come from school. Once America entered into war after 9/11, it was still not something on our own soil. It was usually through the news that you understood what was going on whereas in Israel, you hear through the news but also can encounter it.

Finding the right balance

Finding the balance between shielding children from the harsh realities and educating them about the complexities of the world is incredibly challenging. It’s a constant effort to maintain their innocence while also preparing them to face difficult truths.

But now, I’ll get to the issue at hand, which I think has had a huge effect on everyone in the world, but especially on the children. What do we tell them about the current situation? They hear bits and pieces from their friends and others around them. They’re not blind, and they understand everything. As a parent and an educator, I find it very difficult to know how and what to expose my children to.

So I guess the question is, what do we tell our own kids? How do we explain the complexities and realities of war without overwhelming them, and how do we ensure they grow up with a balanced perspective, understanding the nuances rather than seeing everything in black and white?