Broken-hearted people who dare to hope

Flags and tears along the roadside. Flags and tears at every junction. A broken-hearted people accompanied the last journey of the beautiful red-headed babies and their mother yesterday, on their way to their final resting place. In Hostage Square, people gathered to watch the funeral. Holding orange balloons, orange tulips and flags, so many flags. How can we keep holding up this flag, a symbol of the country that failed us? We, the broken-hearted people, are still trying to hold on to hope.

Gathered for the Bibas Funeral at Hostage Square. Photo: Nili Bresler

The Bibas family wants and needs privacy to mourn. Sadly this is not to be. Their grief is the grief of an entire people. Their story is the story of Israel: Abandoned on Oct. 7^th, as Hamas terrorists invaded their peaceful kibbutz of Nir Oz, unhampered by Israel’s fatally flawed security apparatus. The people of Nir Oz were abandoned for hours as the terrorists roamed about freely, killing, maiming, kidnapping, then leaving to move on to another locale without any intervention by Israeli security forces. Abandoned again in the tunnels of Gaza, as the Israeli government dithered and delayed. We do not know precisely when Shiri Bibas and her two babies were murdered, but we know they were taken alive. They should have come back home alive. Instead, they were left to the mercy of fanatical terrorists. Yarden Bibas was left to starve in the tunnels of Gaza for 484 days. Tortured physically throughout his captivity, Yarden endured a final act of psychological torture as his Hamas captors taunted him with the hint that his family was indeed alive and awaiting him.

The Bibas family is buried in a small village called Tzohar, not far from the kibbutz of Nir Oz, where they lived. Shiri’s parents, Margit and Yossi who were murdered on Oct 7^th, are also buried there. Ironically, Tzohar means hatch, as in escape hatch. And Tzohar was one of the few villages that successfully fought off the attackers on Oct. 7^th, thus escaping the fate of Nir Oz. It was by sheer grit and bravery that the tiny security team of Tzohar managed to fend off the terrorists.

One of the biggest factors in Tzohar’s survival was their refusal to lock up their defensive weapons in a central ammunition room. In doing so they had defied a ridiculous and deadly directive of the IDF. The kibbutzim who had complied were unable to reach their arms in time. Yes, compliance with an IDF order sealed their tragic fates. This was just one of the many appalling failings of the military and security establishment which led to the massive tragedies on Oct. 7^th.  Add this to the criminal negligence of a government, laboring under a ‘conception’ that Hamas was no threat and thus only minimal security procedures were required.  The failings of Israel’s military are only now coming to light, as the IDF’s internal inquiries into Oct 7^th are being published. When will we learn of the failings of the political leadership? Perhaps never, as Netanyahu’s government continues to reject any independent inquiry.

Abandoned: Nir Oz homes destroyed by Hamas on Oct. 7th. Photo: Nili Bresler

And to add insult to horrendous injury, Netanyahu himself now brazenly ignores the pleas of the Bibas family to respect their privacy and their grief. Netanyahu’s government abandoned the people of the Gaza envelope on October 7^th. Netanyahu has capitulated to the far-right extremists in his coalition time and again, rejecting deal after deal which could have saved hostages’ lives over the past year and four months.  Netanyahu is now delaying “Stage Two” of the hostage exchange agreement while there are still 59 hostages in Gaza. At least 22 of these hostages are alive according to the IDF. They are alive but only barely, as we know they are starving to death in Hamas tunnels.  Yes, this Netanyahu is the shameless politician who waves photos of the Bibas family and describes details of their deaths – details which were not released by the IDF spokesman’s office, nor approved by the family.  It is beyond absurd that this heartless criminal is still in office. It is beyond cruel that he is allowed to abuse the hostage families, including the Bibas family, as he uses their story for his own political motives.  Yarden’s sister, Ofri, has shouted at Netanyahu to shut up. I go one further and scream at him, Shut up and go away!

Watching the Bibas Funeral at Hostage Square. Photo: Nili Bresler

We Israelis are broken-hearted but not broken. Hostage Square is filled with people who stand together, coming to witness hostage releases as well as hostage funerals.  All of the funerals we have seen are of hostages who were taken alive and killed in captivity. All of these deaths should never have happened.   And yet we dare to hope.  We each cope in our own way. Some of us come to Hostage Square day after day to volunteer, to tell the stories of the hostages, to speak our hope out loud in order to make it real.  Some of us gather and protest along the roads.

Limor Elishoov knits and embroiders Teddy bears as part of her own coping and healing process. Each Saturday evening she brings her Teddy bears to Hostage Square. Each little Teddy wears a hostage name or a message. When a hostage is released, Limor puts a little sticker on it with the date of release:  Romi, Emily and Doron – Day 471.  Or, Eli and Ohad – Day 491…

My sister said she imagines seeing me in the crowd at Hostage Square applauding as we watch these hostage release scenes. I am there, but I am not applauding. I am usually crying. I cry not because of the cruelty of the hideous ceremonies staged by Hamas. I cry not because of the frighteningly gaunt and frail condition of the hostages. I cry because there are still 59 hostages inside Gaza and we have a government which does not seem in any hurry to get them out. One vile government minister said just this week that ‘victory is more important than returning all the hostages’.

HOLDING ON TO HOPE – The author watching a hostage release. Photo: Adar Eyal, used with permission.

And despite this callousness, despite the trauma, despite the grief, we dare to hope. Last week at Hostage Square I asked Limor if I could hold the Teddy bear labeled Hope as we watched the hostage release. My student Avinatan Or remains inside Gaza. We have no idea how he is. We have no idea when he will be released. Yet, I dare to hope.  Avinatan must come home. They must all come home! NOW!

Bibas family memorial at Hostage Square. Photo: Nili Bresler