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Celebrating mutual respect: A post-nuptial signing party

Be an example to your children and community, and prevent get-refusal in the Orthodox community

As divorce rates rise, it is up to each one of us to do something positive to diminish the possible impact that may have on our own families, G-d forbid. It is time to celebrate mutual respect and commitment — respect for our spouses, and commitment to protect them until death or divorce do us part. By demonstrably pledging not to harm our spouses and co-parenting partners, we can set the stage to eradicate get-refusal in Israel, our community, and from our children’s futures.

When a married couple who are parents to unmarried children sign a post-nuptial Agreement for Mutual Respect, with the aim of preventing get-refusal, a clear message is broadcast by their actions to their offspring and future mates: “In our family, it is the minhag, the custom, to sign a pre-nuptial agreement before getting married. We did not have the opportunity to do so when we got married, so we are rectifying the situation now. When you get married, you will also have the opportunity to help eradicate the agunah and get-refusal problem from society and to strengthen your personal relationship.“

When a married couple signs a post-nuptial Agreement for Mutual Respect for the prevention of get-refusal within the framework of a post-nuptial signing party, an unequivocal statement reverberates in the community: “It is our responsibility to eliminate a blight on our society. The act of get-refusal is the ugly side of human nature, a pit into which even good, regular people may fall. To protect ourselves, our community and the Jewish people, all marrying couples must sign a pre-nuptial agreement for its prevention.”

“Do as I do” is the most powerful educational tool a parent, educator or upright member of society can use. You have the opportunity to take action and help the next generation of marriages, and the generation after that, and on, into the future.

Join the international Young Israel Movement in Jerusalem this September 13, 2017 (22 Elul 5777), Wednesday night, in a Post–nuptial Signing Party. In cooperation with Kehillat Nitzanim, the event will begin at 8:00 p.m. at Beit Knesset Nitzanim, 3 Asher Street in Baka. There is no cost, but registration is required . For more information go to the Postnup webpage.

Good people, good food, good music come together to celebrate our ability to influence Jewish society for the better, by creating respectful, committed marriages — by putting pen to paper, and thereby eventually eliminating the specter of get-refusal for all Jewish couples.

About the Author
Rachel Levmore, PhD in Talmud and Jewish Law from Bar Ilan University, is the director of the Agunah and Get-Refusal Prevention Project of the International Young Israel Movement in Israel and the Jewish Agency; one of the authors of the prenuptial "Agreement for Mutual Respect"; author of "Min'ee Einayich Medim'a" on prenuptial agreements for the prevention of get-refusal; member of Beit Hillel-Attentive Spiritual Leadership; and the first female Rabbinical Court Advocate to serve on the Israel Commission for the Appointment of Rabbinical Court Judges.
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