Defusing inter-group hatred: The first step is to own one’s own hatred
Jonathan Freedland of the Guardian speaks of a biblical hatred fuelling both sides of the present conflict in the Middle East. Biblical rage, he says, is blinding; it dissolves all reason. I would go further and say that it renders people incapable of understanding complexity. Thinking is reduced to its most primitive form, in which actions are defined as either good or evil and there can be only one narrative, a sacred narrative, in which good and evil cannot co-exist in the same person.
Having spent most of my professional life talking to people who hate other people, either within or beyond the microcosm of their own intimate circle, I have come to see hatred as one of the more intractable of human emotions. Unfortunately, many of those who experience hatred have gone beyond words. They have translated their feelings into actions, often with a violent outcome, setting in motion a vicious cycle of revenge and retaliation.
Violence and counter-violence are sometimes justified as carrying forward the battle against injustice, punishing criminals or exacting retribution. However, these terms, valid though they might be, belong to an analysis of the problem further down the road. They sidestep the one factor which all such acts have in common, which is the denial of one’s own part in perpetuating the deadly hatred of the ‘other’, usually defined as ‘the enemy’.
In my experience, those who can bring themselves to talk about their own hatred can provide important insights into its origins. From conversations about domestic hatred it becomes possible to extrapolate to the wider realms of hatred between peoples and communities.
I have found that hatred often begins with a sense of helplessness in the face of suffering. The child who witnesses a parent suffering at the hands of a perpetrator and is unable to do anything about it harbours the seeds of hatred. So too does the child who has been mistreated by a parent, although the hatred of a child for a parent is a more complex emotion, since the object of that hatred is at once loved, needed and feared. The childish mind therefore spins into a cycle of self-blame in an effort to protect the offending parent from destructive thoughts. In such instances, finding a person or group outside the family in whom to lodge those feelings of hatred offers a neat solution and makes it easier to cope with uncertainty and ambiguity.
Hatred which culminates in the murder of a Jew or a Muslim is often the end result of centuries of exposure to religious credos in which one set of beliefs is embraced and all others condemned. The first step is to foster a climate in which this form of hatred can be talked about and owned for what it is.
The next step is to encourage a conversation in which honest answers can be given to the question, “Why?”. Unless rational answers to that question can be found, the future for a peaceful resolution to the problem of mutual hatred between Muslims and Jews is bleak.
