Lori Prashker-Thomas

Embracing Self-Forgiveness During Rosh Hashanah

Forgive yourself - This design was created on on August 31, 2023. It is copyrighted by Lori Prashker-Thomas/ShadowCatcher Photography (Paid Subscription)
Forgive yourself - This design was created on on August 31, 2023. It is copyrighted by Lori Prashker-Thomas/ShadowCatcher Photography (Paid Subscription)

I can’t believe Rosh Hashanah is right around the corner. Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, is a time of reflection, introspection, and renewal. As we gather to welcome the new year, we engage in self-evaluation and seek forgiveness from both others and ourselves. While seeking forgiveness from others is an important aspect of the holiday, forgiving oneself is equally crucial. Rabbi Sandra Lawson recently wrote a piece on Substack entitled, “Forgiveness: A Journey, Not a Destination – Soul Searching During the Elul.” It moved me on so many levels that I actually wrote a comment (which I very rarely do) and, in part, stated, “…Forgiveness is not only about seeking it from others but also about granting it to myself. Reflecting on my mistakes and shortcomings allows me to acknowledge my imperfections and make genuine efforts to grow and change. It’s a time for me to practice self-compassion [and self-forgiveness]…”

The Importance of Self-Forgiveness – Self-forgiveness is a concept deeply rooted in Jewish tradition and values. It aligns with the understanding that we are all imperfect beings, prone to mistakes and shortcomings. Just as we extend compassion and understanding to others, we should also extend the same kindness to ourselves. This act of self-forgiveness allows us to let go of the burdens of guilt and shame, fostering personal growth and emotional healing.

Steps Towards Self-Forgiveness –
Take time to reflect on the past year. Consider the mistakes you’ve made, the regrets you carry, and the ways you’ve fallen short of your own expectations.

Acceptance: Recognize that making mistakes is a part of being human. Acknowledge your imperfections and remind yourself that you are not defined solely by your errors.

Learning and Growth: Instead of dwelling on your mistakes, focus on the lessons they have taught you. Every misstep is an opportunity to learn, grow, and become a better person.

Release and Letting Go: Holding onto guilt and self-blame only hinders your progress. Make a conscious decision to release these negative emotions, allowing space for self-compassion to flourish.

Setting Intentions: Use the symbolism of Rosh Hashanah to set intentions for the upcoming year. Consider the qualities and behaviors you wish to cultivate within yourself and make a commitment to work towards them.

Engaging in Acts of Kindness: Acts of kindness and generosity, whether towards yourself or others, can help alleviate feelings of guilt. When you contribute positively to the world around you, you counterbalance any negativity you may be harboring.

Seek Guidance: If you find it challenging to navigate the process of self-forgiveness on your own, seek guidance from a trusted friend, family member, or spiritual leader. Their insights and perspectives can provide valuable support.

Rosh Hashanah invites us to turn inward and engage in a profound process of self-reflection, forgiveness, and renewal. While seeking forgiveness from others is significant, learning to forgive ourselves is equally vital for our emotional well-being and personal growth. By embracing self-forgiveness, we let go of the weight of our past mistakes, allowing us to enter the new year with a lighter heart and a greater capacity to live authentically and purposefully. This Rosh Hashanah, may we all find the strength to extend the same compassion to ourselves that we offer to others.

About the Author
Lori Prashker-Thomas has always been a creative soul and a free spirit and never thought “author” would be on her resume. Lori is the author of "From Mistakes To Miracles: A Jewish Birthmother’s Story of Redemption, Hope, and Healing," which was released in October of 2022. Lori is also a legal secretary and Paralegal for 20+ years. She is also Co-Owner and Photographer at ShadowCatcher Photography, LLC, with her husband, Michael, Owner and Wedding Officiant of Ceremonies by Lori, and a speaker/writer/ advocate, focusing mainly on being a Jewish Birthmother and the stigma associated with adoption. She is also a proud board member of the NEPA Pride Project. When she is not working, she enjoys spending time with her family and close circle of friends and being a Bubbe to her granddaughter. She resides in Northeastern Pennsylvania with her husband, Michael, and the love of her life, Michael.
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