Enslavement, Freedom, & Addiction: Life Lessons at the Seder Table This Year

At our Seder table, we never make assumptions about the choices our guests will make regarding the four cups. Through experience, we have learned to always respect each participant’s choice when they engage with this particular mitzvah. When we were in our roles as community Rabbi and Rebbetzin, my wife Jeanne and I had hosted many people at our Seder table who struggled with alcohol addiction. Often, as their pastoral counselor, I was part of their support team, helping them with their spirituality and sobriety. I have seen firsthand how important it is to be inclusive and attuned to the needs of this often-ignored population within our communities.

Though I have not struggled with addiction myself, I have worked with those who struggle with abusing alcohol, drugs, and/or gambling for almost 40 years. After participating in hundreds of twelve-step meetings in the US NAVY, synagogue classrooms, church basements, community centers, and jails, and after earning my Doctorate in Jews and recovery from addictions, I have seen that their journey of recovery can teach our Jewish community from a uniquely spiritual place.

The most important idea of the Pesach Seder is to see yourself as if you were enslaved in Egypt and freed by God’s “strong hand and outstretched arm.” Together, we read the text of the Haggadah, telling the story of our people and their history. We gather as families, eat symbolic foods, a full dinner, and four cups of grape juice or wine. However, most of us cannot relate truly, to the feelings of being enslaved and experiencing a newfound freedom.

Once, when discussing the Passover story in a 12-step program, I made the connection between Egypt and addiction, the commonality being having a “taskmaster.” Egypt, in Hebrew, is Mitzrayim, and its literal meaning is “narrow place, restricted.” In response to my prompt, the participants in the room shared how they felt limited by the addiction that overcame them.  Addiction was a taskmaster that controlled their lives or their sense of being in control at all. It was an apt comparison. Those in recovery expressed the relief of not being enslaved anymore. Those who were beginning their road to recovery were inspired by our people’s process through history. Recovery and freedom both take one day at a time.

At many of our Sedarim, these guests have reminded us that freedom is precious and worth fighting for. They have spiritually been to Egypt-Mitzrayim. For them, one drink or one hit can throw them back to the world of enslavement again. Their stories are a roadmap for us to appreciate the gift of redemption.

Lived experience is an excellent teacher. When we welcome guests to our sedarim, let’s not assume where they are coming from or what burdens they carry. Let’s be open to the lessons they may have to share.

Though one person may be leading the Seder, let’s listen. Each participant around the table has the potential to be a teacher, too.