First I lost the House in the Midterm elections.
So, I replaced the boss of my collusion probe and replace it by a person without any integrity and blocked one of my fiercest critics – a journalist – from any further visits. Well, what would you have done in my place?
Yet, this all didn’t make me jolly still, so I decided to take a break. I went for a long weekend to Paris. Lovely, no? I have a dear sweet warm energetic – and frankly beautiful – boyfriend there. A BFF. Or so I thought.
My Paris bromance turned sour even before I landed. He was so critical of me. He still smiled but he had clearly turned from a friend into a foe. Paris was in rain – literally – all through my visit. Bummers. Even a nice but quick dinner with my old friend Vlad wouldn’t have cheered me up.
I admit that I took it out on this British lady but she called at a difficult time when she came marching in with her inconvenient phone call. She could have inquired first how I was doing and if this was a good time.
On my way back, I threatened tariffs on French wine. Serves them right. And I trashed his popularity. But this didn’t please me enough, of course.
I started brooding. Feeling bad for too long is not healthy. Maybe I’ll fire Kelly? He’s been far too full of himself for my taste for a long time. Nah – it would make the media too happy. What’s happening is too drastic. That asks for doing something drastic. But what?
Maybe I should just quit. No, that would just embolden the fake media.
Inquiries from the witch hunt are coming. The House’ Dems threatening to go to war against me. I’ll teach them. But I don’t feel like it. What to do? Have another Fox interview? Play yet another round of golf?
I saved America so much money from wasting it on liberal hobbyhorses. I protected the wealthy who, everyone knows, are the backbone of society. I mean, when their spending power is cut, who would pay for everything? I work so hard but where is the gratefulness?
I know what I suffer from. The swamp. Washington, Paris. All these big-shots who think that they’re somebody. They’re full of crap and when push comes to shove, they just drop you like a hot potato. I need a rally. Simple people who appreciate me. Let’s have a rally. Really. I deserve it.