Once upon a time there
Was a sorcerer who wanted to steal all
Of the light on the planet.
He wore a crown made of
Sulfate crystals which attracted
Rays from the sun.
He kept it all locked up in
A special room underneath his palace;
And for many years the planet went without light, until
Finally one day emerged from
The darkness, a fierce militia.
The whole time they had been
Hiding underground with a pack of
Elephants; living on rehydratable food and
Slowly gathering the strength to defeat the sorcerer.
They had dug all of the way to
The planet’s core, lowering the elephants down
Along with them; and there they gathered their energy.
They practiced not
Thinking about their beloved brethren, as
Any show of emotion would weaken their objective.
Finally, one day the militia created a
Device which shot all of the way back
To the planet’s surface, to the evil palace,
To the underground room, and even to the crown of the sorcerer.
After destroying the crown with
The very light which it served to absorb, they
Collected the recaptured rays, filled them in a giant
Stone box, and returned it to the planet, thinking that they would
Save whatever was left of humanity and nature above ground.
But they found it was already too late; and so
They saddled up their elephants and headed for the palace,
Thinking that the sorcerer would pose no threat without his crown.
What ensued was a melee, a fierce,
Fierce melee; The likes of which…
The sorcerer still had enough leftover ultra-violet
Matter to create weapons. The militia, using nothing but
Their bare fists were able to
Pin the sorcerer in
A corner of the room which
Had been previously used for storing the light.
“I see that you have successfully pinned me, perhaps I have underestimated your race,” said the sorcerer.
He put out his hand in
A show of peace when one of the militia
Men went to embrace it, but the head of the militia stopped him.
“You fool, he is trying to trick us!” exclaimed the leader.
And sure enough at that moment the sorcerer reached
For one of his ultraviolet guns and
Shot the one member of the militia.
But the rest of them jumped on
Him and seized all of the weapons; turning them
On the sorcerer, and putting him to death.
They hanged the sorcerer on the gate of
His palace and took turns defiling the corpse, as it
Swung back and forth.
Then they roasted it and fed it to the elephants, who were no longer vegetarians, upon the new dawn.
The militia rejoiced and
Began to procreate and build a new civilization. And
In time, with all of the light shining down on the
Planet once again, the trees and the forests began to grow,
New life was found, of course the elephants were
Honored by the people with the gift of
A boundless terrain.
They saw the Blessings and
The Miracle which they had received and built an altar to
Worship the One True God
They declared it a
Global holiday on the anniversary of
The sorcerer’s defeat and they sang this song:
“OH FIRE SONG DANCE DELIGHT,
IN REBORN LIFE SPLENDID DELIGHT,
SEE THE SPIRIT, FEEL IT IN THE AIR,
CALL IT YOUR OWN AND IT SHALL DISAPPEAR!”