Gifts That Matter

This past Wednesday, the entire country was crying during the funeral of Shiri, Ariel, and Kfir Bibas. During one of the speeches, Ofri Bibas Levy, Yarden’s sister, said about her nephew Kfir, “We didn’t get to do anything together … I didn’t even get to buy you a gift for your first birthday.”

Kfir was just 10 months old when he was murdered in captivity.

And then, just a day later, on Thursday, our family celebrated our little baby Eden’s first birthday. There were lots of gifts, lots of laughs, and lots of cake. The presents? Cute baby toys, a little dress – beautiful gifts, but if I’m being honest, half the toys will be lost within months, and the other half won’t be “cool” to play with within the year. So, what was Ofri so heartbroken about, that she never got to buy Kfir a gift? Because it was never about the gift.

A birthday present for a one-year-old isn’t at all about the toy – it’s about the love, the connection and the investment in a child’s future. It’s about showing up and saying, “I’m here for you. I love you. I want to be part of your life.” The true tragedy is not just the lost opportunity to give a gift – it’s the stolen chance to nurture, to teach and to pass on values.

Parshat Terumah describes the construction materials of the Mishkan, including the construction materials and what these materials represent; a connection to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The building itself wasn’t the goal; it was the relationship created between Hashem and Am Yisrael.

Sometimes we get too caught up in the technicalities. We overstress over the precise materials and the dimensions of a particular Mitzvah, forgetting that the real purpose of Mitzvot is to create a space for holiness. And the same with birthdays. Some parents obsess over the perfect party, the best cake, the cutest outfit. And yes, those things are nice – but they’re not the thing. The real point is the love, the values, the bond that lasts long after the decorations have been taken down.

I’m in Jerusalem almost every day. But simply being in the holiest city in the world isn’t enough. It’s a vessel – it gives me an opportunity, but what I do with it is up to me.

I have the most beautiful daughter, and I make sure she has everything she needs. The best food, the cutest toys, the softest pink pajamas. But if I don’t invest in her soul, in her growth, in giving her a roadmap for a meaningful life—then all of that is just wrapping paper (which, by the way, Eden loves playing with).

The Mishkan, Jerusalem, birthdays, and even life itself are vessels, and the real question is: What do we fill them with?

Shabbat Shalom!