I’m so tired

I’m so tired.

I’m tired of every news outlet covering the “escalation” in Israel.

I’m tired of seeing every pro-Israel post on social media being hijacked in the comments with hashtags like # GazaUnderAttack and # SaveSheikhJarrah at best and # TheWorldNeedsOneMoreHolocaust and # KillJews at worst.

I’m tired of seeing pro-Israel posts explaining what’s actually happening in Sheikh Jarrah/Shimon HaTzaddik or in Gaza and knowing they’re just preaching to the choir and even if they’re not, that it won’t make any difference.

I’m tired of the calls for nuance and for both blaming and showing compassion for both sides. I know there are two sides to every story. I’m tired of hearing it.

I’m tired of feeling like I need to gut check everything I say and think and read and feel against both a left wing and a right wing news site to make sure I’m getting a balanced perspective.

I’m tired of Americans always turning Israel into an American politics issue. It’s not always about American politics.

I’m tired of the minority of extremist Jews giving some validity to claims that Israel and the Jewish people are violent and tyrannical and racist.

I’m tired of waking up to more than 100 red alert notifications on my phone. I know I could turn them off. That’s not the point.

I’m tired of texting my friends every time there’s an alert from their neighborhood to make sure they’re okay.

I’m tired of seeing my friends and family and their friends and families being called up to reserve duty and my campers who in-my-head-are-still-in-8th-grade-but-in-reality-are-19-years-old-now (yeah, they’re technically adults now, but they’ll always be my “kids”) being thrown into battle.

I’m tired of being tired of all of this and of even having the headspace to be tired of it when I know my friends and family in Israel are mostly just tired of the constant sirens and tired because they spent their night in bomb shelters or on army duty and tired because they know that however long this lasts, it’ll most likely go back to status quo until the next time things flare up.

Yeah. I’m the girl who wrote the Double Standard article in 2014. And I’m tired of the fact that nothing has changed.

Terrorists in Gaza are still firing rockets that deliberately target Israeli civilians and are aiming for maximum damage. It is thanks to the Iron Dome and to God that the casualties on the Israeli side are as low as they are.

Israel is targeting sites where the terror begins: weapons storage facilities, rocket launch locations, and headquarters of the terrorists masterminding these attacks.

Unfortunately casualties happen, despite Israel sending warnings before bombing a civilian building. It is in large part due to terrorist organizations using civilian buildings and neighborhoods as sites for terror activity and for encouraging martyrdom that the civilian casualties on the Gaza side are as high as they are.

Hamas started this escalation. Israel is responding out of necessity. And really, Sheikh Jarrah has nothing to do with this round of rockets.

I’m not so naive that I believe that Israel can do no wrong. I’m not so indifferent that I will put the blame or criticism on all Arabs or Palestinians as a whole. I’m not so heartless that I don’t mourn the loss of innocent lives on both sides. And I’m not so ignorant that I make statements without doing my research.

But I am one member of the tribe. One member of the Jewish people that makes up  0.19% of the world population. And when you take out the extremists on both sides who don’t support the Jewish State, well, I think I’m one of a very small number of voices in the world who, no matter what, will stand with Israel despite any and all shortcomings. Because if I don’t, who will?