Israelis Celebrate Modern Hanukkah Miracle as Mahmoud Abbas Begins 11th Year of His 4 Year Presidential Term

Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas addresses the UN Human Rights Council on October 28, 2015. (AFP/Fabrice Coffrini)

By The Daily Freier Staff

Last Updated 11/29/2015 at 1:20 PM

TEL AVIV: With only days left until the Festival of Lights, Israelis from all walks of life are celebrating a 21st Century miracle, as Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas prepares to begin the 11th Year of a Four Year term of office that began in January 2005. The Daily Freier spoke with Tel Aviv residents as they made preparations to celebrate this momentous occasion.

“So the legend is that there was only enough corruption, incitement and farce to last four years…” explained local historian Yoni K. as he looked for sufganyot and potatoes in the Shuk Ha Carmel. “But through a little luck and maybe even a miracle, his four year term has lasted ten years and counting! Nes Gadol Haya Po!”

Nearby, local homemaker Rachel T. searched for Hanukkah gifts to send Mr. Abbas. “Abbas is always complaining about the Jews’ dirty feet, so I thought, why not get him a doormat…you know, just in case he has Jews over for company!”

While most people will celebrate Hanukkah as they always do, Florentin resident Danny G. wants to try something new this year. “Well first, I think we will hang out at my apartment and take turns reading President Abbas’ Doctoral Thesis.  And then, I was thinking of hitting some clubs in Dubai with President Abbas’ son Yassar!”

Yafo resident Elad L. was just giddy with anticipation as he bought soda and cups. “I am so excited to celebrate the Miracle of Abu Mazen’s 10 Year Four Year Term!  Nothing could make me sad right now!  Except you know, if Abbas had to run for office again or something.“