It helps these days to laugh

  1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
  2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.
  3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
  5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
  6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
  7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
  9. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  10. In filling out an application, where it says, “In case emergency, notify…” I answered “a doctor.”
  11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
  12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
  13. I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
  14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
  15. Going to church or synagogue doesn’t make you a Christian or Jew, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  16. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
About the Author
Dr. Israel Drazin served for 31 years in the US military and attained the rank of brigadier general. He is an attorney and a rabbi, with master’s degrees in both psychology and Hebrew literature and a PhD in Judaic studies. As a lawyer, he developed the legal strategy that saved the military chaplaincy when its constitutionality was attacked in court, and he received the Legion of Merit for his service. Dr. Drazin is the author of more than 50 books on the Bible, philosophy, and other subjects.
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