Molly Livingstone
Molly Livingstone
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It sucks to be me: Elections, pandemic and Passover

If you think all is right in the world, then don't read this; just skip along down the street, with singing butterflies and birds that don’t poop, giving elbow high-fives

This week, I read a post about a 91-year-old woman looking for her last great love. I was so excited to see this post. I felt like life has purpose and is full of possibility, even at 91. I was determined to find this lady her boo, because wouldn’t you want to? 

When I sat down to think about hot 80-90-something-year-olds I might know (I know…it sounds creepy), I also heard my other thoughts creep (different kind of creep) to the surface. They whispered to me, saying, you care about this woman and her pursuit for love because everything else sucks.

It does. It sucks.

Did you know we have elections this coming Tuesday? Maybe you knew because it’s a day off, but you don’t care. You don’t. And more than that, you are bitter and angry. You don’t know who to vote for. You hate everyone. Every politician is a liar-face moron selfish d-bag. They have wasted your time and money. They have texted you more than the health ministry. They have called you with their dumb-dumb recordings, giving you just enough space to curse their name. If I am not describing you, then just stop reading and continue skipping down the street giving all your friends elbow high-fives and float away with singing butterflies and birds that don’t poop.

But if you do fit this description, then you know this isn’t the only thing that sucks.

It sucks that there is still a pandemic. Yes, we have tons of people vaccinated and finally the economy is starting to open back up…but you are too scared to venture out. And if you are a parent you are still playing Russian roulette, the Corona version. You can’t send your kids to Passover camp next week, because YOU CAN’T be in quarantine for seder. You live your life by the number 10. That’s how many days backwards you have to live in order to not lose your mind trapped with your kids in the house, again.

What else sucks? I don’t know, are they going to run out of eggs again? I have to clean my house, but my kids are home. Hey you, skipping person, can you hand over your butterflies and birds and tell them to Cinderella my fridge and oven? And after seder are you going away somewhere fun? ‘Cause I’m not. It’s either expensive or booked. I couldn’t even pay to camp outside in a tent. That’s how much this sucks.

Remember when Passover was tough because of constipation from matzah? Or that seder felt long because you couldn’t drink the four cups at the beginning of the night, but had to space them out between plaques and prayers? Or remember when elections occurred years apart and you felt like the emergence of a new party meant something for democracy? Do you even remember when King Bibi didn’t rule over us?

So it sucks. Hard. But I know I am not alone in this. I wrote this down because you are not alone. And that doesn’t suck.

I have to focus on the not-sucking parts of life, to keep going, to raise my kids, to live life beyond 100 meters or 100 days. You get that right, of course you do. Cause you are like me. You know things suck, but you’re thinking about 80-90-something-year-old hot men to find that lady a boo too. And that is how we are going to make this not suck.

About the Author
Larry David once said, 'I'm not an inventor. I'm an improver. I improve things that are broken.' Whether it’s improvisation, comedy sketch, or stand up, Molly Livingstone is improving life in Israel one chuckle at a time, with an honest and hilarious view of the Holy Land.
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