JDAIM 2025: Don’t we all have disabilities?

According to University College of London, a disability is “any condition of the body or mind that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities and interact with the world around them.”

With that definition, don’t we all have disabilities? And what if we do? What does that mean for the so-called mainstream? Or the neuro-typical or the regularly-abled? And what does it tell us about disability itself?

Being disabled or having a disability does not mean that an individual is unable, disqualified or broken, but rather, that they do things differently or not at all because of any of a number of reasons. Of course, very often disability can be frustrating and painful and for that reason, it is so important to be sensitive and kind. But that is not to say that we pity the disability itself. Disability isn’t less than or pitiful; disability in one way or another is as common as its more typically abled counterparts. So what is inclusion all about? Is it about changing the playing field to include more people on it? Or is it about making sure to diversify the games we play, the jobs we create, the classes we teach, and the conversations we have so that they can include more people more of the time? Basketball will always be basketball as it should be and ice cream should always be dairy even if that means my allergic or vegan friends can’t indulge. But inclusion doesn’t need to rule out options; it needs to include more of them!

Among others, one of the reasons the swimming pool is so universally enjoyed, is because it is, first and foremost, a foreign territory: We humans aren’t naturally aquatic so our time spent in the pool or lake is incredibly equalizing. We like the consonance of everyone being out of place together. Similarly, everyone likes at least some aspect of snow (even if we don’t like cold, wet or shoveling the stuff) because a fresh flurry takes an array of textures, colors, and compositions and makes them all the same.  Snow is inherently inclusive by its exclusivity just like water. Thinking about this idea and applying it to our community might mean creating game nights for games that are new to all, or finding the lowest (or simplest – can we say simplest?) common denominator for group activities: in addition to high end floral arrangement workshops, there can also be simple cookie baking and in addition to competitive golf tournaments (for tzedakah!), there can also be kickball tournaments.

A friend recently told me that he is ok with some of the extreme elements within society, because the outliers will always be outliers and if we get rid of those, then everyone else will have to take one step to the right or left of center.  He said he prefers a very diverse mainstream even if that means the existence of the less savory elements of the fringe. I liked that idea. Events like JDAIM, a sensory-friendly dinner, show, or Tfilah, or even a wheelchair-accessible Shul can require intentionality for some, but perhaps that is just one step in the direction of true inclusion….the inclusion without a “capital I.” A visit to the botanical gardens may elicit many approving comments, but isn’t likely to inspire a “Wow, Harold…..they’ve even included the daffodils!” and that is because daffodils are just unique flowers that are doing their limited part to contribute to the beautiful rainbows in the garden.  In a basic vegetable salad, we rarely notice and certainly wouldn’t look askance at tomatoes.  And while it is true that our tradition ascribes significance to people and even things that are noticeably different than the norm (see Bavli Berachot 58b), that is because we appreciate the very variety they represent!

So….do we all have disabilities? Probably not ALL of us….but probably most of us and definitely many of us. Do those disabilities require an inclusion that is proactive, intentional, or even limited to a particular event or month?  Of course not. Let’s use this month…this exceptional month…to remind us that every single year has a February….and every single group must necessarily include all of its own members.