I recently wrote about why I donated my WeWork Community Giver Award, and how this story relates to knowing your “why.” Following the event and the donation, as reaction from the community around me (and many other people) “exploded”, I noticed something interesting, which I would like to share in this post.
Obviously, I was surrounded with a lot of love and support. A lot. And I am so grateful for that. It strengthens me to keep doing what I believe in.
However, looking back, not necessarily the warmest support came from the people you (and I) would assume. And, I guess it’s the same for many people who were in similar situations.
So, whether you are an Oleh or local, whether you’re an entrepreneur or work in a large corporation, you all have your community and network around you. And, when you hit a milestone, or achieve a nice victory, you (like me) will probably identify that there are a few groups of poeple, given their reactions to the news coming from your side. There are:
- Those who may not be aware, and did not say anything.
- Those who you know are aware, and did not say anything.
- Those who congratulated you on the achievement.
- Those who congratulated you on your journey, impact and what you do, which got you this achievement.
As for for group 1, all you can do is be humble and empathetic. You are not the center of the world, and cannot expect everyone to pay attention. Let it go and don;t hold it against them.
As for group 2, these could be people you actually consider friends, colleagues, people with whom you share the same goals – but, now you know they are (probably) pure “takers.” They will feel comfortable and allow themselves to reach out to you when they need something from you. When they want to sell you. When it’s really all about them. But, they do not now to show gratitude, give a warm feedback, and be true community members.
If you have some of those, beware for them. Never put yourself in a position where you rely on them. They will use you to their end, and then throw you away. Sometimes, you should cut them off completely. They are pure takers, who, I believe (and hope), will also lose over time.
As for group 3, these are people who care about you, but do not really understand you. So, they will cheer you when you win, but may not know how to really support you when you lose. They may not share your “why”, or, not even know what that “why” is for you (or them). So, it’s great having them around, giving and asking, growing together in the industry – but you cannot expect them to really “get you.” They may be the majority around you, but cannot be the core of your community.
As for group 4, when you identify people who are in this category, who actually care about you and what you do, and why you do it, and are there for you when you win, but also when you lose – hold tight to them. Be grateful for them. Do your best to add value to them, a bit more than they add to you, so you know you made an effort to be valuable to them as well. If they are scattered in your network, see how you can connect them to become your core community. They are with you for the journey. They understand. They know.
They are your core community.
Make sure you are in theirs too.