It’s good that the media give us all the information but often there is nothing we can do with it but to feel bad about it or shrug it off. But sometimes I can’t help seeing the humor in the whole mess. Despite the media’s proper commitment to seriousness. Taking life a tad lighter.
(Spoiler alert: several may involve some measure of laughing off other people’s miseries. Insensitivity not intended. Some true and serious included references are unintended — sorry for that. You’re not supposed to find all of the dozen jokes funny.)
* The Israeli lunar module didn’t land but crashed. Brave attempt, sad outcome. They got a million dollar consolidation price for their effort anyway.
I would say to Hamas: This is your chance to make an easy million bucks. Shoot one of your rockets to the moon instead of to Tel Aviv. As soon as it crashes at the lunar, you can celebrate that you’re the fifth country that got to the moon. And try to claim your bonus.
If you miss, shoot a couple of them because frankly, you have plenty. Maybe shoot a rocket every week. Maybe they’ll keep paying you. And maybe you also get to light a torch on Israel’s Independence Day. As the Dutch saying goes: nothing ventured, nothing gained, literally: not shooting is always missing (niet geschoten is altijd mis).
* Now quiet has returned at the border with Gaza, Netanyahu has thanked Chamas for their indispensible semi-attacks that got him the maximum number of Likud seats. So far, I made this one up.
* Meanwhile the news brought: “Palestinian president swears in new government.” I’m glad the report left out the curse words.
* In yet another unprecedented Israeli land grab, G^d has just moved an innumerable amount of Egyptian sand (Genesis 22:17) to Israel. Will the UN Security Council let Him off the hook? Unlikely.
But Israel’s Chief Rabbis have just announced that this is a sign that G^d doesn’t want us to do Pesach cleaning in Israel, which here typically takes less than a week–just when we wanted to get started. Chief Rabbi Aviner disagrees by quoting lo bashamayim hee, the Torah is not [decided] in Heaven [anymore] (Deuteronomy 30:12).
Christians take the Egyptian reference as a nod towards their Jerusalem Palm March. (The palm tree is foreign here, does not exist in the wild in Jerusalem, only is planted artificially and greatly suffers its colds, which the distant Vatican authors of the New Testament (John 12:13) were unaware of. The palms at the French Square and Patt Intersection have just been removed, probably because of pests easily infesting them because of their shaky existence. Happy Palm Sunday to our Christian friends! )
* Everything is messy in the Mideast. That’s how people stay flexible and successful. Forget about OCD-like behavior being the safest. It’s the slowest and the least flexible. So we know that as long as the Central Elections Committee (CEC) says that all went perfect, there is a cover up. Luckily, any spookiness will be judged by the Supreme Court and the CEC is run by a Supreme Court Justice, so we know what that will conclude.
* I just realized how different our Wall Street is from the US Wall Street.
* Sadly, two high-profile Orthodox-Jewish marriages in the Diaspora are in danger now the wife of one and the husband of the other seem to have been unfaithful to their partners. Shocking indeed. However, I heard of a nice solution. Let the cheated partners insist on a divorce and then marry each other. The sweetest revenge.
* Trump most likely keeps his tax returns a secret to hide that he’s not a millionaire but rather a bankrupt person living it off still. How different from anti-Zionist Bernie let’s-get-the-millionaires Saunders who probably has failed to free his tax returns so far, from shame that he is a millionaire. I did not make this one up. It’s for real. Coming out rich.
You would laugh too if it happened to you. All the way to the bank.
* But I’ll close off with a totally serious remark: I want Jonathan Pollard at the Seder Pesach in Jerusalem this year. Let Our Person Go.
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is generated by the new bore on the block, AI. *
As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. Or not at all because he doesn't claim G^d talks to him. He gives him good ideas—that's all. MM doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. *
This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Of the 15 (!) books he has in mind, the next two are about homosexuality in Judaism and new rabbinics. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 2600 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog that also may contain updates to Times of Israel posts, to which one may subscribe, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. *
He's getting ready to publicize books on: "Free Will, "Judaism and Homosexuality, "His parents in the Holocaust, "Judaism, "A New Torah Translation and "A New Hebrew Grammar, "Co-Counseling, "Vegan Facts, "Immortality, and more. *
Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He agrees that in a post-truth world, that's irrelevant, but then this is for the record. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. *
Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. *
Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. *
He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. *
He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. *
He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. *
His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. His posts are spell, grammar, and style polished by AI, but all written by himself. *
To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. *
His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1
