Ready for a very touchy subject?
When you call someone worthless, how they hear that, very much depends on how they are oppressed. A working-class person will hear that as: you are stupid. A Black person will hear that as: you’d better die. And A Jew will hear it as: you are an Untermensch and should be exterminated. Oppressive to say such a thing in each situation.
However, not every insult touches the core of an oppression.
If you say: I hate kids, everyone will immediately hear that you have a mental problem. But if you say: I hate women, it reinforces sexism because women are supposed to make everyone feel great. It’s sexist.
When you say: I dislike your kind, no one will receive it as a compliment. But when you say it to a Black person or a Jew, you sound racist respectively antisemitic. You can’t say it, even if the person horrifies you.
Just like you can’t call any working-class person or any women stupid, or a handicapped person or non-Caucasian ugly. It’s oppressive.
I agree that Kushner looks like a Barbie doll and Menuchin sounds like an arrogant aristocrat, but you cannot ignore that they are Jews caught in the hostage situation created by antisemitism. That’s why both of them act so unnaturally (terrified), seem wax statues rather than warm people.
So, you can call their policies horrible but not them. That would be blaming the victim (hostage) and antisemitic, while letting the real power wheelers off the hook.
In the above clip, at the end, this famous interviewer says to this law professor that Menuchin won’t like her. She fires back: That’s OK. I also don’t like him. That is oppressive. Oops — an antisemitic statement.
We all need to learn to reject evil deeds, not any people. To play the ball, not the player, the Dutch say in soccer. Realize it’s not personal. Only G^d gets to judge people. (The professor learned to judge people but really not. Only their (mis)deeds. No one is violating the law by having horrible ideas or character traits — as long as they don’t act accordingly.)
You can disagree with what people say or do, but you cannot disrespect a Black person, be grossed-out by a Gay person, be condescending to a Woman, nor dislike a Jew. Because, if you do, you are being oppressive. We must all learn not to hurt anyone.
‘Trump is a monster’ is unfriendly but not oppressive. ‘Menuchin is a monster’ is oppressive. It’s not fair that we need to be so careful not to be bigots. But, would you rather deal with racism as a Black person than as a Caucasian, deal with antisemitism as a Jew rather than a Gentile, deal with sexism as a woman rather than a man, etc.? They deal with oppression every day all day long. It’s not too much to ask from Allies to do our fair share. Especially not because their group keeps the oppression going.
And ‘I really feel like that’ is no excuse. You would also not allow incest if the parent would ‘really feel like that.’
As long as you feel like that, you have a problem. Empathy (think of being in their place) may help. And stop looking at others as if you were superior.