Media Abstention, I Did It! (Fake News)
If there were 12 steps towards abstention from the media of war, I would have joined the WhatsApp group on October 8, 2023. We’ve mastered switching channels when evening news items are too graphic. But maybe we shouldn’t switch channels. We might miss meaningful details. Is it an offense to the memories of tragic losses if we switch the channel?
Video clips on social media – degrees of abstention. Pain inflicted upon Israelis by Hamas. Pain inflicted upon Palestinians by would-be strategic Israeli attacks.
Three years later. The Hebrew date – Shabbat and Simhat Torah – followed by October 7. Last October, we were amidst the release of the remaining hostages from Gaza. Room available this year for a fuller memorial vibe.
Israel committed to eliminating every terrorist who participated in the October 7 attack – about 2000 left. Innocent Gazan lives lost in the process, at times, and any time is one time too often. Values lost to futility.
A juggling act would contain each side’s pain alternately – each fraction of a second between balls in the air and a ball in hand.
I argue, in defense of my juggling struggle, that articulating and addressing only one’s own pain in a given moment need not reflect exclusivity of that pain. Yet, I respect the insistence of some people on consistently articulating their pain enmeshed in the pain of the other. No juggling.
Yonatan Zeigen, son of Vivian Silver, z”l, does that. I knew it long before his op-ed in today’s Ha’aretz, about exploitation of his mother’s memory to justify ongoing Israeli killing in Gaza. Vivian never deluded herself that a terrorist would refrain from attacking peace activists. Yonatan joined the Parents Circle – Families Forum without hesitation after October 7. He knew his place was with Israelis and Palestinians bereaved by the conflict, committed to reconciliation.
Last year, I asked him on behalf of a friend to speak for an American synagogue ceremony commemorating October 7. Despite the liberal agenda, he understood the event would exclusively present Israeli pain. He politely turned me down, determined never to present one side’s pain without explicitly presenting the pain of the other side. Containing the pain of the other is present in his pain and would likely have been conveyed. But I accepted his response without question.
Understood that some would exploit one person’s pain because the pain of the other is beyond them. A choice.
Understood that stripping October 7 of Israeli pain, citing it only as the beginning of the destruction of Gaza is another choice – reprehensible.
More random media exposure.
A statistic: 1 in 4 Israelis suffer from PTSD since October 7. I guess I’m 3 in 4, none of us free of trauma triggers.
Another Ha’aretz headline this week: Officers tasked with screening Nukhba terrorists’ bodies, separating them from their victims’ bodies after October 7 – all PTSD diagnosed. Only some have since spent time in closed wards of psychiatric hospitals. Abstaining – I didn’t read the article.
Evening news: 100 Nova survivors defined as potentially suicidal.
Grandparents who lost children raise their orphaned grandchildren. I shouldn’t have read Danny Shapiro’s Substack. Choking back tears, recalling his processing of another news item: Children lost parents. Their grandparents, grieving the loss of their children, fill the parental role for their orphaned grandchildren. The children lost their grandparents – no longer grandparents who let you get away with things, grandparents who insist it’s time for homework, time for bed, and lights out.
I see our 12-year-old granddaughter sharing memorial posts on social media. Her 9-year-old sister talks about former hostages in a manner that suggests she understands far more than she did at 6.
Palestinian toddlers and schoolchildren, like adults, in the West Bank fear Israelis, particularly Jewish terrorists, especially now, olive-picking season and before Israeli elections. As indicated by another Ha’aretz story, with good reason, they worry that the IDF will remove protective presence volunteers from their land, not terrorists.
Last week, we took our 4-1/2-year-old granddaughter to the Tel Aviv Museum of Art. Kadishman sculptures in the museum square – that square that was Hostages’ Square – strike her as a sophisticated playground, and she climbs. An installation representing tunnels in Gaza where hostages were held remains in the square. She sees a tunnel and runs from one end to the other. Another woman approaches with her grandchild. He playfully enters the tunnel. She and I exchange glances, acknowledging that the children don’t understand.
Evening news, and reporters remind us it could happen again.
Threats.
When will the 4-1/2-year-old put the puzzle together?
Harriet Gimpel
October 7, 2026
