Noam Raucher

Men’s Work and Juneteenth

Juneteenth marks the day when enslaved people in Texas were finally told they were free. It is a holiday about delayed freedom, but also about what happens when a country has to face the difference between what it claims and what it does. That has something to say to men.

Men’s work is not slavery, and the comparison should not be made casually. But men do inherit ideas that can limit us: that strength means silence, that anger is safer than sadness, that control proves authority, that needing other people is weakness, and that tenderness makes a man less serious. Those ideas do not make men free. They make men harder to reach.

Juneteenth also asks men to think seriously about domination. Slavery was a system built on the belief that some people had the right to control the bodies, labor, families, and futures of others. That is a national wound, but it is also a warning. When men confuse power with the right to control, they damage other people and damage themselves.

A man who needs to rule over others in order to feel strong is not actually free. He is dependent on fear, status, and the need to stand above someone else. Real strength does not require another person to be made smaller.

For men, Juneteenth can be an invitation to examine the ways domination still appears in ordinary life: in relationships, leadership, parenting, workplaces, and communities. Not every form of control looks dramatic. Sometimes it appears as refusing to listen. Sometimes it appears as needing the final word. Sometimes it appears as mistaking obedience for respect.

Men’s work should help us become more honest about these patterns without drowning in guilt or defensiveness. The point is not to shame men. The point is to help men grow.

A man is freer when he can tell the truth without hiding behind anger. He is freer when he can lead without needing to control. He is freer when he can love without possession. He is freer when he can stand with other men without turning every room into a contest.

Juneteenth reminds us that freedom has to become more than an announcement. It has to become a way of living.

For men, that means building spaces where honesty matters more than image, accountability matters more than excuse-making, and brotherhood helps men become more responsible, more humane, and more able to protect the dignity of others.

About the Author
Noam Raucher is an ordained rabbi, educator, and certified divorce coach. His work focuses on pro-social masculinity, spiritual growth, relationships, and divorce. He was ordained at the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies in 2011 and has served in the pulpit at Temple Israel in Charlotte, North Carolina, and at the Pasadena Jewish Temple and Center in Pasadena, California. His background also includes extensive experience supporting individuals as a spiritual guide and through his work as a counselor at Yale Psychiatric Hospital in New Haven, Connecticut. Noam currently serves as Executive Director of FJMC International—formerly the Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs, now reimagined around four pillars: Friendship, Judaism, Mentorship, and Community. In this role, he helps build and strengthen communities that support men’s connection, purpose, and growth.
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