Misery Loves Company
A week of days. One day: Four fallen soldiers in Gaza. Two soldiers killed at the Allenby Crossing by a Jordanian charged with delivering humanitarian aid to Gaza.
Other days: Innocent Gazans killed.
Bibi addresses economic isolation. Muslim immigration to Europe can explain it. Rather than taking any responsibility, on prime time television he presumes to rally the public around his prescribed shared destiny, autarky in Super Sparta.
WhatsApp groups sharing another round of a graphically designed joint message from six NGOs with hotlines if you want to refuse military service.
A news item unnoticed: Finance Minister Smotrich and blueprints for distribution of lots in Gaza to Israeli citizens. A normalized notion?
Trump statements about the number of living hostages conflict again with what Israel claims.
Refusing military service? It’s not about whether that’s some naïve leftie plan, about giving a war and no one shows. It’s not about vulnerability, visible to the enemy. It’s about glaciers collapsing, ice hitting the sea, after splintering layers of delusional safety that glacial stability projected. That WhatsApp message goes around. Friends committed to this state react, proud of the IDF they served in, the values of that obligation, and the country they sought to build on the infrastructure put in place by the previous generation, making a dream come true. These friends get it, painfully contrary to values instilled in them, recognizing those values face the brink of bankruptcy, confronting the current government of Israel.
They are hurting. I identify. This misery does not love company. It would prefer believing that refusing to serve is alien to Israeli values and society. We grieve. Fallen soldiers.
IDF Operation Gideon’s Chariots hovers overhead, second phase. Soldiers fall. Innocent Gazans evacuated. Not like relocation Israelis choose seeking a safer life.
Friday night dinner and shared misery moments. I mention the futility of perpetuating this war, commenting with cynical disapproval on the government agenda to rid Gaza of all its residents. A member of the family responds with conviction and immediacy. “The sooner the better,” referring to the government achieving its agenda. My response is we’ve been doing this too long, and it didn’t happen “sooner.” We weren’t arguing, just feeling miserable with different arguments.
Another voice reminds us that before October 7, he believed in peace and a two-state solution, presumably linking differences in the room. My objections notwithstanding, discussion dooms West Bank Palestinians to a destiny like Gazans. Not surprising following the news alert crossing the television screen: A terror cell in Ramallah uncovered, planning to shoot rockets at Israel. Still, an opening for my ideas, “How can Jewish Israelis burn a West Bank Palestinian village on their own initiative, and the government lets them get away with it?” A mediating voice blames the government, even if everything is the government’s fault. He was serious. Case in point: education, transportation, law enforcement in Bedouin towns in the Negev, the judicial system. Doesn’t feel like misery loves company.
Considering discussion may have taken a minor left turn, someone reminds me – we have to defend ourselves because the Arabs have always wanted to kill us, and where that ends, anti-Semitism abounds. Even superficial conversations have layers. We need to vent. We want to cling to things that bind us together. But I add that we’ve done our share to help anti-Semites find justification for their position. I sadly believe that. It doesn’t mean I think that if Israel did nothing warranting criticism, we wouldn’t face anti-Semitism. Resuming shared misery with company.
Another day, a friend from Jerusalem calls and says, “Charlie Kirk was pro-Israel, and we have few such friends.” My response was not as she expected. “Pro-Israel What is THAT? What Israel do you want people to support? The one our government runs? Because I want pro-Israel people supporting a liberal democracy, a government that respects – not undermines – democratic institutions and processes.”
Another convincing Israeli on primetime explaining the absurdity of charging Israel with genocide. The numbers, he claims, speak a different truth. Can he explain that to hurting Jews and supporters of Israel abroad devastated by actions of the government of the State of Israel? I feel heartbroken sentiments of friends and family abroad. I feel heart-torn reactions of left-prone Israelis reacting to calls to refuse to do military service. Fabric worn thin, threads frayed in every direction.
Failing to silence selfish concerns crossing my mind: Will Houthis or Iranians attack and impose changes on our upcoming travel plans? Will Israelis still be welcome at our destinations? Will our Erev Rosh Hashana plans change? Last year, Iran attacked the night before. It didn’t change plans for a family meal at our home. This year, the plan, with Haim’s daughter’s is to go to her brother-in-law’s at Kibbutz Yad Mordechai in the Gaza Envelope, the infamous Otef. This kibbutz evacuated and empty for months after October 7. Reliable sources from Otef communities warn me that since Operation Gideon’s Chariots II, booming Israeli attacks on Gaza disturb their sleep. Our granddaughters will cope. Their cousins live with it. The list of things disturbing my sleep goes on.
Two nights before Rosh Hashana – it seems distant. I bought a gift for our hosts. The salesperson didn’t say Shana Tova or Chag Sameach. It was not my only purchase this week, and not the only time salespeople didn’t exchange holiday greetings with customers. When they did, or I did, I did it apologetically, but hopefully. It will take more than the end of this war and a new government to enable us to celebrate but envision the change that will take place and pledge to make your voice part of that voice – that’s my thought for this season and the year ahead.
Harriet Gimpel
September 20, 2025
