Mother’s Day

It’s been too long since I’ve written a blog. I started to go a little dark there, what with Trump and the Russians and all. But spring has brought beautiful sunshine and France just saved Europe – and I’m exhausted from all the insanity of the Presidency and the GOP. Oh wait, golly gee and shucks, Justice Gorsuch, is emotional exhaustion a pre-existing condition?

We moved, adopted two dogs, I’m in the midst of starting a new business, and my daughter is still unwell. And that first paragraph was written last week…before the President of the United States exhibited further and even more menacing signs of mental and psychological deterioration. Before he flailed desperately in a fit of rage at the thought that the FBI and others might actually hold him accountable for his sins. He is a man-child who has never faced any consequences.

And so he keeps on keeping on. He befriends tyrants and betrays those who are in the trenches sacrificing for liberty and freedom. And he will continue bumbling and stumbling and tweeting and stealing and ultimately desecrating all that is holy about what America means to us and to the world.

I think like most Americans, we just want to get on with our lives. I imagine for the first time in American history, we have a sense of what Israelis must feel…that life is lived on the precipice on a daily, hourly basis.

I wrote two poems on Mother’s Day, as a gift to myself. One was highly political, the other was highly personal. In both, I called on the angels…because these days, it seems they are too hard to find.

We are a country living under a regime, a man who treasures abuse, and wants to rule with an iron fist and a tongue steeped in lies. The narrative, the cherished values of our nation, our society, are being eroded daily.

I’m trying to understand how and why we got here. I met Trump several times in the 80’s. We all met Trump during the campaign. It’s no surprise that insanity, belligerence and aggression have ensued. For lack of a better frame of reference, this is Patriarchy on steroids. We are a country in the grips of our worst nature.

The Republican Congress in conjunction with Trump have managed to simultaneously pass legislation that enables mentally ill, mentally incompetent individuals to freely purchase guns, while gutting healthcare funding for their psychological care.

As a survivor of domestic violence and as a woman who has had to deal with PTSD, I remember the sense of relief I had that my then soon to be ex-husband would be forbidden to purchase a firearm. Fully a third of all women murdered in the US are killed by their male partners.

I don’t know why there is so much evil in the world. I’m exasperated and fed up with God on this rather crucial issue. I’ve read the memo, yada yada, free will and it’s on us, and all that.

And I am an essential believer in hope and joy and love conquering all. But first, we must strengthen ourselves. We, who are conscious, regardless of gender, must deepen and bolster our feminine values. The world has been running on masculine leadership for too long and it is time for the feminine spirit to rise up.

By this I mean qualities such has nurturing, honest communication, kindness, caring for those less fortunate, peace and gentility…these virtues need to predominate in our society. In Jewish spiritual terms, it’s time for the Shechina (the feminine aspect of God) to take center stage.

We cannot fight evil with evil. We can fight evil with justice. And then what? What is the aftermath? Where does the healing come from? We have to end the cycle and lead with resonant and fearless morality.

None of this is easy. We have to claw our way out of this wretched mess. Our children bear the burdens of our mistakes and suffer in untold ways. We cannot, must not, let ourselves off the hook – we have an unequivocal obligation to not give up on ourselves, our country, our world. We cannot grow apathetic or give in to despair. We must be passionate about truth and goodness.

It might very well get worse before it gets better. We’re in the crucible. The only way forward is to create something utterly new and beautiful. There is no going back. We must become stronger and mother the world.