Move it, Homeslice

My very first impression of Israel, is that people walk incredibly selfishly.

The speed, pace and style of walk, is complément alien pour moi. And bloody infuriating. And since, I cannot comprehend it, I should ignore it. Yes.

If I don’t look, it doesn’t exist. The end. Blog done.

..

.

Nope. Still there.

walk blog
(https://pixabay.com)

Hear! Hear!

Israeli lack of spacial awareness, aaaand a demeanor of ir-regard (yes- ir-regard: that’s a word now) for ‘the other’ (namely – me), baffles and infuriates my soul.

And before y’all storm out in an angry mob, chanting “ban her from this site, exclamation mark, exclamation mark, ghost emoji”,  I DARE you, to find a person who has not had spacial issues here.

And then, we’ll get me super banned. Pinky swear.

Until then, ahem* let me get on my high horse in peace. And so: The entitlement of space in Israel is imminent.

Let’s elaborate: how people walk represents more than just movement. It is, quite literally, an embodiment, of how people be viewing themselves, and by extension, their relation to others. Like physical theatre, where actors use their bodies to convey meaning, or dance where they look all hip and suave, or ‘love acts’ to convey love — (why lie?…to convey horniness and desperate, desperate, desperation). All these moments rely on the assumption that movements hold meaning. 

And so! If we accept such premise, then we must, and I repeat must, accept that how one walks, directly reflects one’s attitude and worldview. It also embodies one’s sense of self, and projects that diva self into motion.

So let’s move (eh eh get ittt) onto the Israeli mode of walk.

  1. Perhaps, Israeli peeps are spatially aware, but they simply do. not. care. Makes sense, no? This view is fascinating because it borders on downright inspiring. Everybody, minds themselves. A pragmatic and empowering stance. Such is the way of my beloved Israel. Perhaps, I too should get a backbone, and ponce around like an anti-social teenage prince. Own it! Because, if you can’t beat them, join them yah?
  2. Otherwise maybe, on a Freudian level, maybe the way people walk here is indicative of a deeper sense of Israeli entitlement to territory that is not theirs alone. OOOh no she didn’t!!! They act like it is. They walk like it is. They stop in the middle of a stride. They walk slowly and take up space, unwilling to move or compromise. Understand, this is an incredibly frustrating phenomena. It illegitimises my right to pass through smoothly. Anna — late to class. Anna — sad. Anna– write bigotry on blog.
  3. What’s more! (Tell them homegirl TELL THEM!) the unapologetic nature in which they sluggishly shift their bodies, and give me the stink eye, lets me know I’m the one in the wrong. Oh I’m Sorry… for trying to USE THE GODDAMNED STREET. God-forbid we share it at some point. “No ma’am, no sharing here.” (side-note, no swimming at the beaches, why is that?)
  4. Herzl would agree..probably.. He lived in Paris for a bit, where although they are French, at least they walk consciously.
  5. I mention him because, I know his first name too. Theodore. sigh.
walk blog 2
(https://pixabay.com)

Forgive me, Israel, I love you…A paternal kind of love. The kind, where, I want to beat you with a stick, but cannot, since we are out in public. Why don’t you let me though? WHY DO YOU MAKE ME DO THIS?

Big cities get a lot of bad press, for stabbings, expensive cherries, meth addicts. For sure, London is robotic in many ways. People walk faster, but they are also more concerned with others’ need.  They are more acute to other people’s space, and their right to move through that space. There is an established code of conduct;  you let people off first, you stand on the right hand side of the escalators, you self-loathe in silence. There are rules of movement. People abide, apologizing excessively: when you bump into me, I say sorry. The machine runs smoothly. We all win. We all get to class.

Essentially, offense is taken, not given, I know.

pulp
(https://pixabay.com)

So walk how you want. It’s all futile. We’ll all be dead in a century. French people will continue to exist. Israelis will walk like they do..At least there are no French Jews right? … :O

Racism aside, I shall have a cup of cocoa, and get back to whatever rich, entitled white chicks get up to on the Shabbat.

Rant over.

Bises à tous B)

About the Author
Anna Wozniak lives in Tel Aviv. Sometimes, she goes outside. Sometimes, she writes about it. Some. Times.
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