I will be announcing THE MOST DISHONEST & CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS OF THE YEAR on Monday at 5:00 o’clock. Subjects will cover Dishonesty & Bad Reporting in various categories from the Fake News Media. Stay tuned!
With bated breath all journalists are waiting; not me. I have my prediction ready:
Donald Trump will come up with a big smile and say:
Let me first bid a special welcome to the wives of the firefighters who have battled the forest fires in California relentlessly, with tremendous skill and courage. It was tough but in the end they won.
But you were meanwhile keeping the household going, uncertain if and when your brave and selfless husbands would return from their tremendous service to the public. Almost all of you got him back and we’re grateful for that. And surely, you’re spoiling him and very proud of him.
And we stand for the two men who lost their lives shielding the nation and we value their sacrifice and their widows are here with us today.
All of you, the spouses, are heroes too, away from the limelight and today we want to honor you. Thank you for your work.
– This year, we won again! In all categories. Let me explain.
– We fed the press lies and they gave me free publicity all through my campaign, voicing their shock and disagreement, repeating my election slogans all over the People – the fools.
– I continue doing so to prepare for reelection – though I know that there is no serious opposition candidate to fear. Next time, we will win land-slight.
– I call them the bad journalists not because they’re evil. Rather, they are stupid. And that makes them bad reporters. They say that I seek publicity – I don’t. It’s them who make me popular all day long.
– So I want to commend them for supporting my presidency and it’s accomplishments with obsessive coverage. And their passionate negative stance against me has certainly given me a lot of fans.
– So, I’m not going to make almost everyone jealous by singling out a few of the press who would them explode from furthered self-importance.
– Basically, you have done a joint job of stressing anything that you thought was wrong about me, from my hair and eating habits to my laws and tax cuts. You’re just a bunch of jealous losers in no need of any recognition, because it’s clear for all to see.
– Meanwhile, we won. We won again. And we will keep winning. For America. For the forgotten men and women. To make America great again! Happy New Year, everyone. G-d bless the United States.
I might be unable to help readers who won’t get ironies or parodies.