My Purim costume

I’m donning my costume. I’ve decided to go as an old woman. I’m just touching up the wrinkles now. I’ll assume an old lady’s gait. My character has arthritis and walks down the stairs laboriously. Up is less of an issue!

I’ll put her into flat clunky shoes. Anything glamorous makes her feet hurt.

I’ll make sure her pants or skirt (whichever I choose) is above ankle length. We don’t want my old lady to trip on her clothing and easily, immediately break something precious, like a hip or shoulder (oops, did that one already) or spine or vertebra or knee. Or even nose!

I’ll provide her with a very natural looking double chin, flabby and long, hanging down like another appendage.

And of course I’ll make sure to put enough powder in her hair to make it look totally gray…and in some spots I’ll swish the hair around so she has some bald spots that she just can’t quite cover.

I’ll be sure her grating loud voice completely obliterates the sound of the name Haman. My lady does seem to have some hearing issues so she’ll speak loud and clear, annoyingly so.

Her eyes will don thick glasses that still won’t make her vision very sharp. She’ll use a megillah, the gansa megillah, with large print…just to make the costume more authentic.

And of course she’ll talk during the reading, but everyone will be tolerant because she’s an old lady.

This year the costume will be so easy. It won’t require all the makeup and props. It’ll just be plain old me.

Chag Purim Sameach from an ancient one!