Niemöller 2024 (SATIRE)

First Hamas came for the Jews, and I said quite a lot, actually. “Globalise the intifada! Jews back to Poland! Jihad until victory! Intifada revolution!”

Then they came for the homosexuals, transexuals, atheists, feminists and socialists and, boy (sorry, boy/girl/non-binary), was I screwed.

But three years studying the intersection of Feminist Ecology with Queer Dance Theory had not left me without resources. I immediately called my intersectional allies and we problematised the situation. Clearly, centuries of occupation by Zionists had left the Palestinians with a false consciousness of internalised self-hatred that they were projecting on us in an inequitable way.

We occupied the madrasa (formerly Columbia) and chanted consciousness-raising slogans, like, “Hamas, Hamas, you can’t hide/You signed off gay genocide!”

It went on for about three minutes before the shooting started.

They told those of us who survived that we’re getting stoned tomorrow. I’m so glad, because I could really do with some weed to cope with this situation. Those Zionists have a lot to answer for.