Older Americans Month

I read, with both a bit of astonishment and more than a bit of distress, that there is now a “movement” around the language that caregivers use with older adults.  This includes training and programs to teach healthcare providers not to use baby talk, or high pitched, childish inflections, when they speak with elders.

I’d like to believe that we all know that an elderly person, including someone living with disabilities and/or cognitive impairment, is an adult and not a child and deserves to be treated as such. These are individuals who have lived full lives. They have raised families, worked hard, contributed to our communities and so much more.  How can it be that we have to educate people not to treat them as if they are infants, as if they are helpless?

As people age and face challenges, they may find it more difficult to communicate and to respond to language. But that does not mean that they don’t have skills, thoughts, and purpose. It does not mean that someone who is 85 or 90 years old has suddenly reverted to infancy. Even if the individual is completely dependent on others for care, it does not mean that they should be denied the dignity of their years and their history.

In our organization, we have zero tolerance for treating elders as anything other than as adults who have rights and privileges and dignity.  That goes beyond tone of voice and baby talk.  It goes to the way we address people, asking of them, or their family, if they prefer their first names or titles and surnames to be used.  It is both their choice and must align with their comfort level.  We also work hard to use adult words and adult concepts because we know that these individuals more than merit that status.  As an example, adults wear briefs not diapers. Adults wear clothing protectors and not bibs. We don’t have “feeders,” we have people who need assistance with dining.

That is not to say that we are perfect. But we know how much it matters to try.  We had an individual living with us who had significant dementia marked by agitation. This man, still in his 60’s, was wandering into rooms and was often difficult to assist.  A conversation with his family led us to realize that he was a physician and that he’s spent his entire life being called “Doctor.”  We made that change and, as people began to call him “Doctor,” his whole demeanor shifted.  His life improved dramatically because he recognized that he was known as the person he was.

Older adults in our community face this same sort of discrimination in subtler ways.  Someone recounted to me that she had gone for an X-ray and the young technician was manipulating her without saying a word, as if she could not understand.  “You can use words and direct me,” the woman said, “I am quite capable of moving in whatever direction you need.” The tech had the good grace to look abashed and I hope that he or she learned something from the encounter.

If we are fortunate, we will all live to old age.  But that advanced age should be replete with respect, with understanding and with being approached and treated as the adults that we are.  Anything less is not just intolerable, it is wrong.  During this May, Older Americans Month, may we all learn, and remember, the value and sanctity of each human being, regardless of age or stage, ability or disability.