Permitted to All Men
The path to get-refusal is long and winding. Where it begins is sometimes hard to say. Where does it end? Well, it can be neverending.
Actually, the path to the realization that a divorce is necessary, is usually lengthy in and of itself. Once that point is reached, the one spouse who understands the necessity may not be joined by the other. It is at that point where the paths of the two diverge — into two separate and parallel vectors which simply don’t intersect: hence, get-refusal.
For those who have (thankfully) never experienced or even observed a difficult divorce; who never witnessed a couple battling in the rabbinical court — it can be incomprehensible as to how a seemingly loving couple becomes entrapped in the whirlpool of get-refusal.
The Beer-Sheva Theater (Teatron Be’er Sheva) has given us the opportunity to witness a family drama and get a behind-the-scene glimpse of how a couple’s relationship can deteriorate. The play Muteret , “Permitted to All Men”, is a thought provoking drama about one woman’s struggle to be herself within the marriage; and failing that — for freedom out of the marriage.
The drama’s playwright and director Aya Kaplan brought to light what ordinarily remains behind closed doors. The actors in the play, starring Efrat Baumwald and Roy Miller, who are supported by an outstanding cast, portray an authentic example of a loving family unit gone awry. This is a true-to-life story, progressing step by step to the point of no return. That point of requesting a divorce was reached after multiple failed attempts of the wife to discuss their problems. Only afterwards, with the husband’s steadfast refusal to release his wife from the bonds of marriage, did the family constellation literally fall apart.
While avoiding a spoiler and without giving away any of the dramatic developments. I will say that at the height of the drama, Efrat Baumwald as the woman longing for her freedom, spectacularly hits the members of the audience in their guts. And rightfully so.
The lack of comprehension by everyone involved – family, friends, colleagues, community members, neighbors and rabbinical court judges – intensifies the existential suffering of the victim of get-refusal. Which is exactly why this play, Muteret, needs to be seen by everyone of adult age. Witnessing the maelstrom of unanticipated get-refusal will bring about full participation in the objective to sign the Agreement for Mutual Respect before marriage, thus preventing future agunot. To understand is to be part of the solution to the agunah problem.
