Purim Shpiel for Non Zaxers

Sometime after elections in the center of Israel

A Left-going Benny and a Right-going Benny met on a trail

There they stood, foot to foot, head to head in their place

Each one quite confident that he won the race


Right – going Benny said, “You move aside!”

” The People have voted, and they did decide,

Two million voters can hardly be wrong,

I must return as the leader, where I do belong!”


“Oh no!” the Left -going Benny replied

“The People voted “NO BIBI!“, and you say they lied?”

I’ll form the government and on that, I insist,

I’ll get the support of Yisrael Beiteinu and the Joint List


“You what?” raged the Right -going Benny and started to hiss

How could you ever accept support from the Joint List?

They are anti-Israel and admire terrorists.

And anyway, Liberman and Oudeh won’t even kiss


“Yet you are three short to form your coalition,

Give up and resign now of your own volition

Let me lead a government secular and stable

Just give me the Likud and I am certainly able”


You may call me a Left-going Gantz

But you are going to prison to wear some striped pants

And a felon or one who is indicted indeed

Can’t be the Prime Minister and the country to lead


For neither could form a government that the other could enter

They were stuck facing each other somewhere in dumb center

Stuck in a quagmire as we can surmise

Unable to find some fair compromise


And Israel’s problem’s, both large and small

Are stuck with them now and can’t be resolved

Gaza, Hezbollah, Convid-19, and Iran,

Congestion pricing and the price of spring lamb

For without a new budget we are stuck in a jam


Will another election, the fourth be the charm?

(And every election costs a leg and an arm)

Or will we end in the same game again

Pointing fingers at each other when there’s no change?


And I wish I could end this with some Purim cheer

(Maybe something will pop up after some whiskey and beer)

Meanwhile let’s remember, if just for the fun

That back in Old Shushan we collected as one

And we can do it again once the elections are done

About the Author
Shlomo Toren has been a resident of Israel since 1980, and a transportation planner for the last 25 years. He has done demand modeling for the Jerusalem Light Rail and Road 6. He is married to Neera and lives in Shiloh.
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