Rosh Hashana and Your Jewish College Student

By: Drs. Shelly Steinwurtzel and Jessica Zmood, Founders & Directors, Gesher Campus Care

The Jewish holidays have always been about gathering—around the table, in the synagogue, in our stories. They are moments to pause, reconnect, and remind each other who we are. But this year, when your college student comes home, the table may feel heavier.

Across the country, Jewish students are facing new and difficult realities. Some encounter overt antisemitism in the form of protests, classroom hostility, or social exclusion. Others are quietly wrestling with questions of identity, wondering how to live authentically Jewish lives in environments where it feels complicated—or even unsafe—to do so.

As parents, it can be hard to know how to respond. What should we ask? How do we check in without overstepping? How do we balance offering guidance with simply listening? The truth is: you don’t need to have all the answers. What your child needs most is your presence, curiosity, and love.
Here are six gentle ways to guide those conversations this holiday season.

1. Lead with Curiosity
Rather than jumping to conclusions, start with open-ended questions that invite your child to share their perspective:
“What’s the climate on your campus around Jews or Israel?”
“What has surprised you most about being Jewish at college?”
“Where do you feel most comfortable being your full self?”
You may hear things that surprise—or unsettle—you. Remember, the goal isn’t to fix everything. It’s to listen, learn, and understand how your child is experiencing their world.

2. Explore Their Sense of Safety
Psychological and physical safety are key to a student’s wellbeing. Ask questions that help them reflect:
“Do you feel safe on campus?”
“Have you experienced or witnessed things that made you uncomfortable?”
“Are there spaces where you don’t feel welcome—or where you can be your whole self?”
The goal isn’t to interrogate, but to give them language to talk about what safety—or lack of it—looks like in their daily life.

3. Create Space for Their Questions
College is a time for asking big, messy questions. Your student may be grappling with:
“How do I love Israel while questioning government decisions?”
“Why do classmates dismiss my trauma?”
“In campus diversity discussions, it feels like my Jewish identity isn’t fully acknowledged. Where do Jews fit in?”
You don’t need to provide immediate answers. Instead, sit with their uncertainty. A simple response like, “I don’t have all the answers, but I’m here with you as you figure it out,” can be deeply reassuring. Openness models resilience and keeps the door open for future conversations.

4. Notice Their Stress
Sometimes the most important questions are the smallest ones:
“Are you sleeping?”
“What’s your go-to dining hall meal?”
“Have you had time for the things you love—music, sports, art?”
Changes in sleep, eating, or hobbies can be signs of stress. If you notice your student letting go of activities they once enjoyed, talk gently about how they’re coping. Share what helps you manage stress—taking walks, cooking favorite foods, journaling, or leaning into Jewish rituals. Encourage them to explore outlets that bring comfort and joy.

5. Remind Them They’re Not Alone
It’s easy for students to feel isolated when the world feels hostile. One of the greatest gifts you can give is to remind them they are part of something bigger. Jewish people have faced hardship before and found ways to endure. Tell family stories, bring in humor, share your own struggles.
You might say: “We’ve been through hard times before. We’ll get through this too. And you don’t have to carry it alone.”

6. Normalize Support
Sometimes love and listening aren’t enough. If your student seems especially overwhelmed, normalize seeking professional help. Therapy is not a sign of weakness but of strength—a chance to build skills, clarity, and resilience. If possible, help them connect with a therapist who understands Jewish identity and culture.
This year, let the holidays be more than ritual. Let them be spaces of listening, healing, and reconnecting. Ask, listen, and remind your student: you can always bring your whole self—Jewish identity included—home.

That is the heart of our tradition: no matter where we wander, there is always a table waiting for us, and always a people ready to listen. Shana Tova!